Knightly Order of Tubthumping

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Knightly Order of Tubthumping
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The Knightly Order of Tubthumping -- We're Here To Help!

Died recently? Click on Help! I Died! Follow the instructions to contact us and help us get your stuff back.

WARNING: Do NOT post the exact location of your death, or the monster that killed you, on this page. Doing so will dramatically reduce your chances of a successful outcome, as corpse-stealing ghouls are known to monitor this page.


Announcements and Current Events

Exclusively for matters of importance to the Order as a whole

  • Please review Motion 10 chatter. I need to know who I'm making armour for. Syagrius 15:51, 7 February 2007 (GMT)
On Guilds

Thus far, the benefits of a Guild, a new form of terrain and character group, largely revolve around permanent presence. As of this time, we have a permanent presence in nearly every city on the map. Among the disadvantages: New members cannot be introduced unless every other member of the guild is on the square. The KOT is at its best when it's spread out, so that we can efficiently respond to problems all over the world.
At this point, I'm pretty sure we have as much of a guild as we care to. I've vault talismans and permits if we really feel the need to have a common storage area. I'd rather not incorporate into a guild just now. It sounds inconvenient for a group as large as ours. This is open to discussion; I'm hardly in charge here. Even so, I thought I'd speak out before some well-intentioned, enterprising Knight set one up for us. The All Self-Important S. Mackie 19:19, 25 July 2007 (BST)

I concur in every respect. Furthermore, one can be a member of only one guild at a time. The interests of the KOT may be better served with representation across the other guilds. -- Sertularian 23:25, 25 July 2007 (BST)
That said, this warrants more discussion. To the Talk page, I suppose. 09:39, 27 July 2007 (BST)
T-Shirts Available!

I've got 18 more of the bloody things, just in case the Inactive Knights Illuminus want in on this. Radio me and I'll see about dropping by a trading post. The motif chosen was "I Seek Dead People." The All Self-Important Mackie 20:00, 30 May 2007 (BST)

Using the Help! I Died page

It has come to my attention that several attempts at tubthumping have been jeopardized, not by posting one's location and/or cause of death on the Help! I Died entry, but by failing to post at all, opting instead to go directly to secure contact. While this discourages ghouls, it also pins one's hopes on the idea that the single (or married) Knight in question will be available in a reasonable time frame. This defeats the purpose of the Knightly Order, which operates in numbers precisely so that, ideally, there will be a timely response.
Please, if you would like our assistance, contact us all. If you feel it is necessary, it is acceptable to e-mail us before you post, but no Knight is better than another, and I, for instance, am unavailable 92% of the day. Therefore, the least one should do is to post a Help! I Died entry, as per the Hypothetical Dead Person, and either to await further contact or to initiate said contact over the other, more secure channels. Failing to do so jeopardizes your chances of assistance by not allowing all Knights know of your need.
The all self-important, Doc Mackie

Long-Term Urgency

To our general dismay, an expiration date has been applied to monsters. While I'm not aware of precisely what determines this expiration date, what exceptions apply, or anything else, it appears that corpses in a monster's inventory do disappear. Therefore, while it's seldom an issue, there is a long-term urgency to the completion of Tubthumping quests.
The all self-important, Doc Mackie

Shrunken Heads

Relatively unimportant, but three of us decided to pare down the front page. It's a little, er, youge for those unfamiliar with the page. Smaller page might mean better tips. If you want to know what we're up to, go to the KOT's Administrative Section.
The all self-important, Doc Mackie 04:05, 7 January 2007 (GMT)

Secure Communications

Secret communication is the bread and butter of the Fraternity.

Click here to communicate securely with a Member of the Order.

How It Works

Are you...

  • recently deceased, a freshly minted member of the Cod?
  • depressed that you haven't signed up for the King's excellent (and FREE) insurance policies at your home shrine?
  • really kicking yourself in the arse right now for not using the Clean Bandages you just remembered you had?
  • just beginning to realize how much really cool stuff you had, and how little you really got to try out most of it? (Like, for example, those Clean Bandages?)
  • dreading starting over, with all that onerous collecting of Clean Bandages?

Well, there's still hope. We Knights aren't just going to stand around taunting you, although we may do a fair bit of that for a while. We're Here to Help!

Should you find yourself in need of our services (you dummy), i.e., you wake up in the shrine of your alignment, dazed and weak, here's what you should do:

  1. Scream, "Oh, <insert favorite expletive here>!!!" as loudly as practical in your personal circumstances.
  2. Head for the local Donation Point. Which are where?
By the way is it at all strange that after my character does the time and space quest he begins collecting GPS of monsters everywhere?
  1. Take the offered transport to the Keep (the Knightly Order pays to maintain the system so that there is no cost to you. But we don't pay much, so don't expect it to be a quick trip.)
  2. Visit the morgue and look for your body. Claim it if it's there, and get your stuff back.
  • Click here to read the current list of toe-tags in the morgue. (The coroner does his best, but some folks wear disguises.)
  1. If it's not, then pay a visit to the Shelter for Charity Handouts, where you will have an opportunity to see what can be given to you from the items fellow adventurers have donated. Then get back to where you were when you died as quickly as you can and kill that critter good.

If your individual situation is more complicated (meaning, you've got a survey vessel sized load of stuff that you don't want to leave lying around for long, and 2 water stones and a rusty sword just won't get it done), consider applying for our more traditional service offering, below. Click on Help! I Died! to post your request for summoning and other aid. You'll find instructions on how to communicate the location of your demise securely, and a place to request the specific items and/or transportation your unique situation requires. Hopefully, some philanthropic Paladin will spot your request and make arrangements with you to get you back on your feet.

Either way, presumably, you're then on your own. After all, you did DIE, and that's ultimately your own stupid fault.

If You Find a Body

If you run across somebody's corpse, please bring it to the nearest Donation Point and donate it as soon as you can. As you can well imagine, they're likely to want it back. It will be transported immediately by the K.O.T. transport system to the morgue at the Keep (much faster than its owner, as dead bodies are easily folded into small boxes), where it will be maintained by highly trained specialists in our specially designed climate-controlled facility.

Please post a note under Who Died?, also; and indicate where the body is (usually you've got it near a trading post, or it's at the morgue) so the victim knows where to look. Thankfully, if you do not do this, the body will probably show up on the botfeed anyway once you drop it off at a Donation Point. We just happen to be sticklers for tradition.

Locations of Donation Points:

Help! I Died!

Please follow the directions for formatting your request. Come on, people, they're not that hard. We Paladins are known for dragon and giant killing, not for reading carefully. And we all refuse to wear those silly glasses.

Corpse-thieving ghouls are known to watch this page with the express purpose of getting to your stuff first when you die. And they don't usually give it back. (Boo!) So, if you want real help, don't mention where you died or the beast that gakked you here on this page. Reserve that information for secure communications.

  • Post requests for assistance at the end of this section.
  • Don't post specific locations where piles of good stuff can be found on this page. Click here to contact one or more KOT Paladins securely instead. Do post a general location, such as "alongside the road", "inside the mountains", or "eastern part of the Great Desert". This will help us decide who should respond.
  • Try to contact a Knight that's in the general area of your demise and, if you can, be prepared with specific location information once someone answers your call. Some of the knights note where they are on the Roster of the Paladins, and their notes are sometimes even up to date! If you don't have the coordinates, obtain and use a Magic Ball repeatedly until it tells you them. (Magic Balls usually can be obtained for free at Charity Handouts.) Again, don't post the coordinates here.
  • If you need summoning and you're wearing a party hat, rip it off. People wearing hats, and registered duellists, cannot be summoned.
  • Please start your request with three equals signs, three single-quotes, four tildes, three more single quotes, and three more equals signs. Like this:
=== '''~~~~''' ===
  • This is important. We need to have all of this information easily accessible, and there can be a lot of it. If in doubt, look at how the other folks did it via the Edit function. Doc Mackie
  • If you receive help, please clear out your request to keep this page tidy, and if you were helped, list yourself under Victories of the Order. Please also list the name of the paladin who rescued you. (Mainly so I don't clear the victory out) Syagrius 18:25, 9 March 2006 (GMT)
  • ...and consider joining the Knightly Order yourself!

In Cod we trust.

BlaisedeC 04:40, 8 April 2012 (BST)

I need some help in the northeast quadrant of the inner mountains. I died; I've gotten back to the monster that killed me, but don't have sufficient armaments to dispatch it, nor a dibs wand to claim it. (My first character, named as my wiki persona.)

on my way Syagrius 13:42, 8 April 2012 (BST)
Did you already kill the bugger? I just walked all around you with a magic emerald and nothing has a body on it. Syagrius 13:56, 8 April 2012 (BST)
You obviously didn't have a way to see invisible... BlaisedeC 22:52, 8 April 2012 (BST)
I have received help, and dispatched the Bling Wraith. Thanks for the assist! BlaisedeC 22:58, 8 April 2012 (BST)
Didn't know what I was looking for... Syagrius 03:31, 9 April 2012 (BST)

Hypothetical Dead Person!

This is a sample Help! I Died! post. The title is bracketed by three === signs. I have not listed the location of my death, nor the monster that killed me, and may have contacted individual Knights concurrently with my posting here. Both helps, but make the post at the minimum. I can be reached at hypothetical AT person.cod and have signed with four tildes: Hypothetical Dead Person! 20:17, 30 May 2006 (BST)

I only add that tildes are the <shifted> ` key located in the upper left of stardard qwerty keyboards(it took me a while to find, not everyone knows what a tilde is) Spacer one 16:04, 31 May 2006 (BST)
Yes, so like this ~~~~ Syagrius 16:09, 31 May 2006 (BST)
When I'm using my wireless iPaq, I have to copy the ~ from one of the pages. It's kinda irritating.macksting 21:00, 31 May 2006 (BST)
Well, I would be very much mistaken if there isn't a signing button above the editting or creating page. That button makes --~~~~ appear. I think so, anyway ^_^ --LordAsriel 21:48, 31 May 2006 (BST)
Well son of a... --macksting 21:49, 2 June 2006 (BST)

Roster of the Paladins

Partially Armoured All-(Self-)Important Wizard macksting 3/25 - Game's active again, and so is the KOT! Still doing my merchanty business, mostly.
Fully Armoured Too Hot For You Wizard Sert (Email: Sertularian@wikimail) Where do you need me to be?
Wonderfully Armoured Firestorm Master Armourer Sy email me here:Syagrius@wikimail for assistance. Syagrius 04:03, 29 March 2012 (BST) Hanging out with guildies.
Randomly ArmouredMurky Spacer one- 12/21 hagning out around Harvey's Farm/Thieves Forest
Hot Gams Doc S, 12/21 - Unable to update because she has no wiki account. Wedding was a smashing success.
Dusty Geayzus joined up 23:11 GMT 4 March 2006. Email: Geayzus@wikimail 12-6 - Currently party-hopping, patching up people as they return from their endeavours for tasty AP regen. Not a member of THOFD because of the Guard Helmet that seems to be rather thoroughly stuck to my head. Footnote: Is this 12-6-07, or some time earlier?
Mostly Fully Armoured fluid RedlacSelin - 07/01/08 From his not-so-secret lair on Holiday Island the resurrected Earl RedlacSelin waits, coiled like a jungle cat; waiting for the call... TO ACTION!
Breaker of Wind Jon Knight #000 - Mostly moving between the Mall and Holiday Island, but always watching the skies for the KOT-signal. Feel free to palantir or ask if you see me in case I haven't checked here to see the aforementioned signal.

Inactive Knights

Founders, Honoraries

Spicy E.bstan (membership by virtue of deeds, not words)
Drunk His Grace, The Honorable Duke Mike J MD (membership by virtue of deeds, not words)
Deceased Founder Emeritus Douro, R.I.P. -- Fellow knights, it saddens me greatly to report the passing of one of our founders, the esteemed Paladin Douro, who succumbed to frostbite today in the frozen wastelands of the North. He will be missed greatly, for both his words and his deeds. On the bright side, he's created a new quest for us. -- Sertularian 03:34, 19 February 2006 (GMT)
Darksatanic Darktab granted for reacquainting The Lovely Eusebia with her Lady Hellfire and Hellfire Lady.

Knights Illuminus

Too Hot to Handle Jenali As of 7/31, wearing the badge en espaƱol and looking for something to do.
Smelly bub246 I died over 4 times and lost so much stuff that I'm willing to help out people :p
Breezy Celane 11/5 -- Inactive until further notice. Sorry 'bout that.
Watery Admiral Caroline ! - Causing havok on the High Seas.
Dirty Havelock 22/1/7 Trying to get the standing stones quest completed but still lingering about
Singed Duke jmb MD - 6/29 Avast, ye varmints! Arrrr!
Windy Roar000000 enlisted 15:25, 22 February 2006 (GMT)
Retired Caol Joined 2/23 - Doc Sy editing in - Caol has been found in the retirement village.
Watery Billwopeh joined up 19:16, 24 February 2006 (GMT) - is around, mostly healing random people while attempting to do the quests that piled up on him. -- 19:40, 24 September 2007 (BST)
Fully Armoured Earthy Billz8 (Email: Billz8@wikimail) Joined 2/5/06. 3/10: Hanging around a parties crafting and keeping my shop running. Accumulating large amounts of wealth. Usually available if needed.
Fully Armoured Ephemeral X-Himy - Joined 09/11/06. 1/5: At Destroy All Monsters and with almost too much AP to work with. Currently making cannonballs before checking out R'1yeh and heading back to Oz.
Burning Unstenk- "3/14 - Wandering around."
Firey vloodo

Cold Cases

If you posted a request for help here a while ago, and it disappears before you get your stuff back, it may have been transferred to our Cold Case team. Click Here for updates.

Who Died?

Post here if you come across a corpse and hopefully we can reunite it with its owner. (Corpses contain the items of the deceased.) Also, donate the corpse at a Donation Point for transport back to the morgue at the Keep.

  • See below for corpse entries.

Morgue Contents

This feed lists all corpses currently waiting pick-up at the morgue.

  • The Morgue is located at 79E 98N DSSGCM in the KOT Keep, roughly 20 squares west of the water city (or about 80 east of Fire); it has its own road, starting at 81E 95N DSSGCM and is easily found. Alternatively you can go to a donation point and teleport to the great hall for about 30AP.

Corpses Delivered to the Morgue

Newest deliveries are at the top

  • Salt was discovered, in a King Cobra, iirc, delivered today, minus a Bag: "Beginnerz Pak(TM) Lite". Sorry for that; I was merely curious as to what the contents of such a bag might be, and now seem unable to donate the bag to KOT. Just palantir me, and I'll kindly return the bag to you. AmishRobots 20:55, 2 May 2018 (BST)
  • Duke CreekLord MD was found on a monster in the southern part of the Great Desert, delivered to KOT near Fire City after my own demise later that day. Brandy 11:44am 7 Mar 09 (BST)
  • Taf, slain by a Hista underground. Syagrius 21:30, 26 July 2008 (BST)
  • bobtheslayer slain by The Giant. Was unable to contact owner. Scrumbucket 05:29, 18 June 2008 (BST)
  • Shriphani, found on a Goat, just a couple steps from the Air City KOT donation point at 7E 5N. Twitcher 00:27, 15 May 2008 (BST)
  • Hymn, found on 20 Bees just south of air city -Skold 13:41, 12 May 2008 (BST)
  • I Am Death, found on a Knight That Said Ni near the Talisman Maker -Stelio 19:11, 4 May 2008 (BST)
  • Karen Carpenter, I forgot where I found the body --q_ali01 12:21, 10 February 2008 (EST)
  • Samovar, found on a Roc somewhere in the interior --Bel3338 03:56, 21 January 2008 (GMT)
  • gnome, found on a llama somewhere between Fire City and Water City.Twitcher 17:32, 12 November 2007 (GMT)
  • rumblestead, I believe he was killed by a wolf. I can't be sure as I was slaughtering woodland creatures. Looking at the morgue, he has a number of corpses to pick up. --Vainglory 03:54, 26 October 2007 (BST)
  • uria, killed by a sister in the mall -- GrumpyNick 14:27, 19 October 2007 (BST)
  • Sgt. Duke darksatanic MD (!!), killed by an Eating Tortoise, rescue recorded here for the morbidly curious. -- Sertularian 14:54, 22 September 2007 (BST)
  • ShaneO, killed by a leprechaun east of Earth City Spugmeistress 15:41, 18 July 2007 (BST)
  • ninja2death, killed by a zombie in the Mall. --Tiltowait 13:40, 20 June 2007 (BST)
  • moodyboi, killed by the same zombie that ninja2death. --Tiltowait 13:40, 20 June 2007 (BST)
  • screen, killed by an eagle near Earth City -- Ophiuchus 19:12, 14 June 2007 (BST)
  • wishywashy, I forget where I found the body. --Tiltowait 14:24, 11 June 2007 (BST)
  • Pvt. Duke Sparrow MD, killed by a Space Invader. Snare 16:21, 10 June 2007 (BST)
  • Owe My Balls, killed by a wolf south of Windy City. --Gretchin 00:22, 7 May 2007 (BST)
  • Duke Quantum MD, killed by a Mimic in the Great Desert. -- Ravensdance 22:23, 26 February 2007 (GMT)
  • hi dog Killed by a Omar the Troll in Air City -- Baz Auckland 22:00KST, 22 February 2007
  • Feeney Killed by a Gnome near the Fire City Phw 22:00, 30 January 2007
  • Lataash Killed by a Badger near Fire city. Ant 13:29, 14 January 2007 (GMT)
  • Sir Apocraphilia (again) Killed by a Badger, South end of Earth City --Gretchin 01:23, 4 January 2007 (GMT)
  • talcar69 Killed by a Mother in the Mall Phw 08:31, 22 August 2007 (BST)

Corpses Pending Delivery (Contact the finder directly)

People who are missing their Corpse

Qazxcv is missing his Corpse. Yet no one knows who has it.--Qazxcv 18:18, 3 August 2007 (BST)

Sorry man, I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for it. Syagrius 04:48, 7 August 2007 (BST)
Its ok. I just wan't my body back. --Person who had there body stolen (and its still missing) 21:58, 10 August 2007 (BST)
Thats it, WHO HAS MY BODY???--Qazxcv (Who still missing his body) 23:15, 14 September 2007 (BST)
Sadly, by this point, I'd say someone ghouled it long ago. Syagrius 02:23, 15 September 2007 (BST)

AltoidAddict posted his doom in good faith, but it appears he's SOL. We grieve his loss.


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