Monsters:Quickref

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Aligned Monsters Area Monsters Other Monsters

    Earth Monsters
    Air Monsters
    Spirits

    Fire Monsters
    Water Monsters
    Invisibles

    City, Road & Mall
    Cloud Land
    Desert
    Fire Swamp
    Forest
    Polar Regions
    Islands
    Inner Region

    Lost World
    Ocean
    Oz
    Oz Interior
    Space
    Underearth
    Ancient Castle
    Astral Plane

    Farm Animals
    Paper, Scissors, Stone
    Snakes
    Swarms
    Zodiac Monsters
    Christmas Monsters
    Other Monsters

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Earth Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Earth Worm 1 1 Produced by a Can of Worms; Will turn Sick, then turn Dying, then disappear
Esquilax 7 1 Rare; part of the Creature Survey Quest.
Gnome 10 2
GNU 50 1 Drops Saltpetre
Triffid 50 20 Can poison; Drops 0-2 Triffid Stings
Bull 100 3 May drop a Can of Red Bull; Drops Saltpetre
Minotaur 250 3 Found in the Labyrinth; Drops Oil and Saltpetre
Manic Minotaur 500-1500 10 Found in the Labyrinth; Drops South-West Tunnel Map, Ball of Wool and Saltpetre
Tundra Troll 400 5 Regenerates; Found in The Frozen North
Kraken 50,000 15 Found in Ocean; Drops Kraken Pieces, Kraken Meat and Saltpetre
Small Earth Dragon 250 5
Earth Dragon 400 10
Big Earth Dragon  ?  ? Found on Dragon Island
SMALL EARTH DEMON 500 1 from max HP Found in the Caverns
EARTH DEMON 1000 2 from max HP Found in the Caverns; Drops Saltpetre

See also: Capricornian Taurean Virgoan Green Guard

Air Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Sparrow 1 1 Drops 1 Feather
Name the parrot 6 1 Say Name for 1GP; Repeats anything else it hears most of the time; Drops 2-4 Feathers; Attack with a fish for the possibility of more stuff
Sylph 10 2
N Gulls 10*N 2 x N Found in the Ocean and coastline
Thunder Bird 30 2 x 2 Drops 5 Feathers
Eagle 50 2 x 2 Drops 10 Feathers
Gas 47-74? 2 Found in the Sewers
Thick Gas 133-195? 3 Found in the Sewers
Roc 180 5 x 6 Drops 20 Feathers and a Roc Rock
Blizzard 500 10 Transports you around The Frozen North (even if you're already there); Makes everything spin for a while; Makes you cold
N Skull Gulls 1000*N 5 x N Found in the Ocean; Drops Skull Gull Skulls
Feral Cat 5000 20-24 x 3 (feral)
15 x 2 (fed)
10 (full)
Found in the Jungle in Oz; Feed it a Crispy Shredded Duck Bit to turn it into Satisfied Cat and Duck Filled Fatty Puss (both of which attack you less)
Small Air Dragon 100 4 x 3
Air Dragon 200 5 x 6
Big Air Dragon 1000 20 x 6 Found on Dragon Island
SMALL AIR DEMON 500 1 from Max AP x 2 Found in the Caverns
AIR DEMON 1000 2 from Max AP x 2 Found in the Caverns

See also: Aquarian Geminian Libran Yellow Guard

Fire Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Glow Worm 1 1 Replaces Can NEVER replace the Fire Fly
Salamander 10 2
Fire Fox 30 4 Drops Sulphur (50% chance)
Lion 40 7 Drops Sulphur
Pheonix 10*gen 1 + ½(gen2-gen) Regenerates when its HP is <10; Drops ½(gen-1)(gen-2) Phoenix Feathers; Drops 3(gen-1) Charcoal; Drops 50(gen-1)(gen+2) Gold plus the Gold it started with
Aurora Borealis 150 10 Found in The Frozen North; Drains XP
Aurora Boreanaz 150 10 Found in The Frozen North; Drains XP; Hostile to fire players; Can be killed with a Pointy Stick; Shares a table with Aurora Borealis on the kills league tables
Sea Lion 15000 30 Drops Flippers, Whiskers and Sulphur
Small Fire Dragon 150 8
Fire Dragon 300 15
Big Fire Dragon 3000 60 Found on Dragon Island
SMALL FIRE DEMON 500 1% from to-hit Found in the Caverns
FIRE DEMON 1000 2% from to-hit Found in the Caverns; Drops Sulphur

See also: Arian Leonian Sagittarian Infra-Red Guard Red Guard

Water Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Toad 1 1
Duck 6 1 Drops Magic Beans and Feathers
Undine 10 2
Penguin 30 3
Angel 30 5
Crocodile 150 10 Drops 0-3 Crocodile Scales; Feed it a Pocket Watch to make a Clockodile; Feed it a Dundee Cake to give it more health and make it drop a Crocodile Dundee Cake
Arctic Undine 400 10 Changes into a Frozen Undine; Drops Snowballs
Serpent Head 800 5 Found in the Pool of the Mountain King in the Catacombs; Kill 4 Serpent Heads for a North-West Tunnel Map
Dolphin 3000  ? Drops a Brand Identity; Monsters (with 777HP) often become them
Shark 30000 15 Found in the Ocean; Drops Shark Fin and Shark Meat
Water Spout n/a 0 Found in the Ocean; Carries you away; Makes everything spin for a while; Turns all your Milk into Butter;
Small Water Dragon 150 5
Water Dragon 300 10
Big Water Dragon 3000 40 Found on Dragon Island
SMALL WATER DEMON 500 25 Found in the Caverns
WATER DEMON 1000 50 Found in the Caverns

See also: Cancerian Piscean Scorpio Blue Guard

Spirit Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Gorgan 10000 Kills immediately (10 dmg with mirror) Equip a Mirror to avoid instant death; Drops Head of the Gorgan
Lost Spirit 1 10
Morrissey 100 0 Found on Bleak Island; "The Morissey depresses you. -10 AP"
n Spelling Bees n 2 x n Only attackable while in Toad form; Appears in groups of 30; Drops Spells
Spelling Fly 1 1 Only attackable while in Toad form
Undead Dragon 1500 20+ Glass Swords, Golden Guns don't work; May do an extra 5 dmg; Lowers Max AP and Max HP (causing even more dmg); Quickly resets its alignment; Drops a Dragon Stone
Vampire 150 10 Killed with Pointy Stick; Passed with Garlic

See also: Loucee Astral Plane Angels

Invisible Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Bling Wraith 6000-10000 (1+Number of Bling types you have)*5 Drops Bling; May become visible if attacked
Dark Mist 100 HP/5 Type of Ghost
colour Djinn 5000 5 or 25 (annoyed) Found in the Great Desert; Drops a Pouch of Magic Herb, Does of Magic Powder, Magic Carpet or some other "magic" item; May become visible and annoyed
name the Fairy n/a 0 Equip a Nuff to see it; Attack with Nuff to receive a Pint of Fairy Liquid or Gram of Fairy Dust
Fiend 2535-2690 6-10 Spawns between two Cursed Fields; Drops a Fiend Skull
Ghost 5 2 Type of Ghost
Hungry Ghost 150 10 Type of Ghost; Drains 20% XP; Eats Food
Manatee 20000 30 Drops Magic-Goods
Mist 0-65 0 Type of Ghost
Wisp 200 5 Type of Ghost; Drops Arena Talisman

See also: Space Ghost Ultra Violent Guard

Mage-Visible Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Huge Reptile (synonym) 5 20 Only harmed by the Letters that comprise their synonym; Loses one HP when its synonym is removed; Regenerates a new synonym four times; Drops a Plot Point/Hook/Twist/Device
Imp 100 50 Drops 1-3 Mana and Spells; Killed by Impending Kick & Impending Slap
Nodule 1 0 Only visible to Apprentices; Drops 1-2 Mana
Node 1 0 Only visible to Shamans; Drops 3-8 Mana
Nexus 1 0 Only visible to Level 3 Wizards; Drops 9-26 Mana

Forest Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Badger 298+ 20 Drops Mushrooms; Feed it Mashed Potato to turn it into a Bodger (gains 100 HP)
Bodger special 26-29 Drops Mushrooms, Iron Nails, Screwdriver and Sheets of MDF
N Bees N 1 x N Drops Honeycomb or Beeswax
Giant Spider 1000 10 Wraps you in Silk; May paralyse you for one attack; Drops Venom Sac; Non-hostile after 1M XP
Giant Spider (friendly) 1000 0 Compliments you and skips away, sometimes with your weapon; Killing it reduces your Kudos by 3
Hazel Tree 600 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops Hazel
Holly Tree 600 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops Holly
Jabberwock 320 5 or 10 or 5+10 Drops Leather; Starts with 6 Leathers and loses one each time you damage it
N Man Brute Squad 40*N 5 x N Singular Brute
Ninja 200 10 + 10 disarm Dodges weapons; Steals weapons; Might drop Catana
Oak Tree 600 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops Oak
Pig 200 3 Drops Slices of Bacon after being fed Acorns; Gains +50HP with each Acorn
Pinata in a Tree 1 0 Good Drops
Squirrel 50 5 Steals Acorns
adjective Thief 250 10 Steals Items
adjective Thief 450 20 Steals Items; Becomes invisible
Treeman 100 15 Vulnerable to Copper Axes and Nails; Drops Wood and Ancient Wood
Walnut Tree 600 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops Walnut
Willow Tree 400 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops Willow
Yew Tree 600 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops Yew

Cloud Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Loucee 200 5 Drops Diamonds
Pig 300 10 x 2 Drops Flying Bacon if fed with Acorns
The Giant 15000 20 Midas Wand does not work; Drops a Spirit Sword

Desert Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
big n0rx 250 1-34?
Desert Fox 100 5
Dust Devil n/a 0 Carries you away; Makes everything spin for a while; Turns all your Milk into Butter; Shows up as "Twister" in the Tarot Deck
Large Living Tar 250 10 Eats weapons; Gains 10 HP per weapon eaten; Drops 2-6 Tar
Large Mimic 500 special Damage 1.5 times your weapon used; Has your name
Living Tar 100 10 Eats weapons; Gains 5 HP per weapon eaten; Drops 1-3 Tar
Mimic 150 special Damage equal to your weapon used; Has your name
Sand Worm 500 20 Might drop Gram of Spice
Small Mimic 50 special Damage equal to your weapon used; Has your name
Small Sand Worm 300 10 Might drop Spice
Tar Baby 50 4 Drops 1-2 Tar

Ocean Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Cute Seal 20 1 Found on Beaches; Kill with Clubs; Loses you Kudos; Drops a Seal Pelt
Giant Clam 1000 0 Found in the Coral Reef; Drops a Perl or Pearl when fed with Sand
Pirates 50000*N cannons 15 x N Drops Pirate Hat and Treasure Chest
Plankton 1-99 1 Found south of Oz; Immune to weapons?
Plot Bunny 8000-20000 50 Found south of Oz; Only harmed by Plot Points/Hooks/Twists/Devices; Drops Stories (for the Wizard quest)
Rat 10 0 Found on the Cruise Ship
Shrimp 10 10 Found in the Alternate Ocean; Drops CD Singles (A-D)
Thunderchild 1000000  ? Found next to the Brighthelm Pier; Not attackable
colour Whale 40000 10 Drops Blubber and Oil; Harpoons do 1000 damage against them (dmg multiplier is ignored); Found as Blue Whale, Green Whale, Shale Whale, et al

See also: Kraken Gulls Skull Gulls Sea Lion Dolphin Shark Water Spout Manatee

Paper, Scissors, Stone

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Origami Ogre 150 10 Scissors cut paper
Rock Troll 250 10 Paper wraps stone
Scissor Beast 200 6 Stone smashes scissors
Small Paper Mache Golem 40 2 Scissors cut paper
Small Scissor Beast 40 2 Stone smashes scissors
Stoner 7-26? 2 Found at the Festival; Drops 10 Fags if killed with Box of Matches; Paper wraps stone; Drops Magic Beans and Mugs of Ale
Young Rock Troll 40 3 Paper wraps stone

Space Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Asteroid 25 0 Drops Bits of Metal
Carbon 500 10 Found in the Neutral Zone; Drops 50 Carbon
Clanger 12  ? Found on the Moon; Unattackable
Iron Hen 60 20 Found on the Moon; Starts off hungry and can be fed BBs; Drops Bits of Iron
Quite Small Asteroid 50 0 Breaks apart when killed
Large Asteroid 100 0 Breaks apart when killed
Moon Beast 500 20 Found on the Moon; can hit for 10 AP of Dizzy
Platform 500 10 Found in the Neutral Zone; Drops a Perl
Really Large Asteroid 200 0 Breaks apart when killed; Drops a Power Crystal (inside one of the Asteroid fragments)
Space Ghost 150 2 Invisible; Drops 8 Cans of Lager and a Bottle of Vodka
Space Monster 200 10
Space Invader 500 10 No name (looks like an actual space invader); Comes in four different alignments

Polar Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Cold 1  ? Drops a Cold; Unattackable after you kill one
Einherjar ~150-400  ? Found in Asgard; Has different names (Björn, Brandr, Eirikr, Eithr, Gamli, Jatmundr, Leif, Mani, Ogmundr, Thorbrandr, Thrainn, Yngvarr and so on) and alignments; Can't be realigned; Hostile only when equipping a weapon
Fenris Wolf 800 15 Found in Asgard; See Asgard quest; Not attackable after you kill one
Frozen Undine 800 5 Starts out as Arctic Undine
Frost Giant 15000-18000  ? Found in the Frost Castle in Sniffleheim; Drops ice-aligned items
Glacier Fox 60-180 3-9 Damage = Glacier Fox's max HP / 20; Drops an After-Dinner Mint
Ice Camel 150 4
Ice Warrior 308-447 8-19 Drops a Coloured Scarf
King Penguin 70 4
number Lemmings 14-15 each 3 x number
Mink 15 4
Moose 300 2
Møøse 300 50
Mountain Goat 20 3 Attack with a Bucket for a Pint of Goat's Milk; Drops Goat Horn, Gruffs, Oohs
Polar Bear 31-49 1-7 Drops a Glass of Polar Beer
Tauntaun 250 1 Kill with a Light Sabre; When killed, changes terrain into a Tauntaun corpse
Woolly Mammoth 1380-1810 4 Drops Balls of Wool
Yeti 350 4
Zebra 450 1-5 Found around Ice Stations
Zu Warrior 1200-2000 50 + 20 disarm Found on the Zu Mountains in Sniffleheim; Disarms you like a Ninja; Comes in four alignments; Drops aligned Catanas (same as their own alignment)
Small Ice Dragon 300 5
Ice Dragon 500 10
Big Ice Dragon 5000 40 Found on Dragon Island
SMALL ICE DEMON 450 cold Causes frostbite
ICE DEMON 1000 cold Causes frostbite

See also: Tundra Troll Blizzard Aurora Borealis Aurora Boreanaz Arctic Undine Snakes

Lost World Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Acceleraptor 100 5 x 3 Comes in packs; Last one sometimes drops a Barrel and/or Power Crystal
Coldsaur 500 5 Breathes cold on you
CSaur 1000  ?
C++Saur 1001 11 x 2
Displaciraptor 25 3 x 1-2 Comes in packs; Last one sometimes drops a Jubilee Clip and/or 1-4 Pipe Cleaners
Hacksaur 2900 20
Jigsaur 880 5 Breaks into Jigsaur Pieces when killed
Jigsaur Piece 25 2
Pterryanodon 250 4 x 5
Runningsaur 350 0, 10 or 20 Does 0 damage first; Does 10 damage subsequently if it doesn't run away; Runs away and does 20 damage if you hit it too hard
Velociraptor 70 3 x 3 Comes in packs; Last one sometimes drops a Distraction Grating and/or Magazine
Whatthebutlersaur 4000 10

Fire Swamp Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
R.O.U.S. 200 4
Mud Man 500 4 Also found in regular Swamps; Drops 10 Muds, 10 Wood, 10 Sand, 5 Stones and an Ancient Wood

Swarms

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
All swarms appear in the Tarot Deck as Swarm.
Blaine 30 3
Cricket 30 3
Flying Ant 30 3 Found in the Great Desert
Frog 30 3
Locust 30 3
Mosquito 5 special Inflicts malaria, believed to be extinct
Snake 30 3
Termite 30 3
Turtle 30 3
Wasp 6  ?

Snakes

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Found on the Great Plain just south of The Frozen North (61E 110N - 99E 102N), or in the Astral Plane; All snakes appear to be called Snake until you've killed lots of them
Boa 316-583? 5 x 1-6 Drops Bones and Snake Skins
Cobra 105-196? 2 x 2 Drops Snake Skins
Coral Snake 104-186? 2 May poison you; Drops Venom Sac and Snake Skins
Garter Snake 50-199? 0 Drops Snake Skins
Giant Boa 569-1275? 10 x 1-2 Drops Bones and Snake Skins
King Cobra 219-252? 3 May poison you; Drops Snake Skins
Python 203-396? 5 x 1-6 Drops Bones and Snake Skins
Rattlesnake 100-196? 1 May poison you; Drops a Rattle and Snake Skins
Slow Worm 61-88? 0

Subterranean Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Adolescent Tortoise 250 10 x 4
40
20 x 2
10 x 2
+10 disarm per attack
Found in The Sewers; Disarms you like a Ninja; Unhittable with weapons or martial arts; Attack with Pizza Slice to change it into a vulnerable Eating Tortoise; Comes in 4 alignments with different attacks and weapon drops: 2 Sais (earth), a Bo Staff (water), a Nun Chuck (fire), or a Catana (air);
Alligator 150 10 Found in The Sewers; Causes Illnesses
Balrog 9999921 20 Found in the Catacombs; Bit of a Pushover
Bat 20 1-2 Found in Caves; Drops a Dose of Antidote (for Triffid Sting poisoning)
Big Bat 200 5 Found in The Mines; Drops a Dose of Antidote
Big Bat 800 10 Found in The Mines; Drops 2 Doses of Antidote
Blind Tube Mare 3000 10 Found in Guild Tubes
Bloody Big Bat 3200 20 Found in The Mines; Drops 4 Doses of Antidote
Bloody Big Bat 12800 40 Found in The Mines; Drops 8 Doses of Antidote
Busker 26-88?  ? Found in the Subway
Dianoga 400 0 Found in The Sewers; Pulls you under and causes Illnesses
Goth 666 5 Found in the Dungeon; Drops a Glass of Absinthe and Pint of Cider and Black; May drop Black Eye Liner or Black Nail Polish
Gygax 100 1-20 Found in Caves; Takes and deals damage from die-rolls; Drops Dice
Hista 20000 25 Found in The Mines; Makes you sneeze
Rat 10 1 Found in The Labyrinth, Dungeon and Sewers
Rocky Horror 15000 12 Found in The Mines; Damaged more when you have Kinky Fashion (dmg = kinky fashion score * weapon dmg); Drops a Time Warp and a Pair of Fishnets
Sewer Rat 30 5 Found in The Sewers; Causes poisoning
Monsters in the Catacombs may be Huge, Giant or Mutated; They count as normal on the kills league tables
Huge monster 5*HP 2*dmg
Giant monster 10*HP 3*dmg
Mutant monster Does 1-2 extra attacks
Huge Mutant monster 5*HP 2*dmg Does 1-2 extra attacks
Giant Mutant monster 10*HP 3*dmg Does 1-2 extra attacks

See also: Minotaur Manic Minotaur SMALL EARTH DEMON EARTH DEMON Gas Thick Gas SMALL AIR DEMON AIR DEMON SMALL FIRE DEMON FIRE DEMON Serpent Head SMALL WATER DEMON WATER DEMON

Oz Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
N Asbos 300*N 10 x N+1 Steals money
Coca-Koala 400 7 Good Spell Drops
Dimensional Shambler 23 0 or 50 Weapons do 1/30 damage (rounded down); Takes you to the Astral Plane; Does 50 dmg in the Astral Plane
Finger Mouse 700 12
Golfer 500 10 Found on the Golf Course; Drops Golf Clubs
Grue 1200 10 Found in caves; Various alignments
Jason 2000 20 Found on the Golf Course; Makes you drunk rather than doing damage; Drops Golf Clubs and a Bottle of Whiskey, only known source of tanks (very rare)
Khadi 500 1 Found on the Golf Course; Drops Tees and Golf Clubs
Killer Koala 500 20 Great Spell Drops
Koala 300 7 Good Spell Drops
Mother 2000 15 Killing it gives you Issues
Mötley Grüe 3500 20 Found in caves; Drops Umlauts; Changes alignment
Skippy 500 3
So Solid Grue 2000 15 Found in caves; Various alignments
Venemous Eye 2500 6-14 Drops Spells; Gives you an MP3 of "Venemous Eye" by Darko
Duck-Billed monster 5*HP Counts as normal on the monster kills league tables

See also: Morrissey Giant Clam

Oz Interior Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Ebony Tree 100-1600 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops HP/100 Pieces of Ebony
Head Hunter 242 0 Found in the Jungle; Weapons only do 10% of normal damage; May capture you (costing 50AP to escape); Drops Rivets
Morpheus 10000 25 Drops Red and Blue Pills; Occasionally drops a Copy of 'You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)'
Rubber Tree 400-1800 1 Vulnerable to Axes; Drops HP/100 Pieces of Rubber
Tripod 12000 30 or 1 Found on the Mountain Trail; Becomes a Disabled Tripod when you've done 4000 damage
number Vorder Man number 15 Found in the Jungle; Attack with Golf Clubs (Vorder Man's HP is divided by the Iron number) and kill with Putter (when its HP is 1); Drops Consonants and Vowels

See also: Feral Cat

Zodiac Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Found in the Dreamtime and Astral Plane
Aquarian 2000 10 x 2
Arian 1000 30
Cancerian 1000 15 Causes Poisoning
Capricornian 2000 20
Geminian 1000 10 x 3
Leonian 2000 15
Libran 1000 20 x 2
Piscean 1000 10 x 2 Causes Poisoning
Sagittarian 1000 20 x 2
Scorpio 2000 10 Causes Poisoning
Taurean 4000 10
Virgoan 2000 10 x 2

Astral Plane Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Ashim 10 20
Kerubim 40 40
Beni Elohim 160 60
Elohim 640 80 Drops Strange Powder
Melachim 2560 100 Drops 2 Strange Powders
Seraphim 10240 120 Drops 4 Strange Powders
Chasmallim 40960 140 Drops 8 Strange Powders
Aralim 163840 160 Drops 16 Strange Powders
Ophannim 655360 180 Drops 32 Strange Powders

See also: Snakes Zodiac Monsters

Ancient Castle Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Found in the Ancient Castle; Part of the Smith quest
Infra-Red Guard 5 1 Fire-aligned; Drops Chilli Peppers
Red Guard 10 2 Fire-aligned
Orange Guard 20 3 Air-aligned; Drops Oranges
Yellow Guard 40 5 Air-aligned; Drops Lemons
Green Guard 80 8 Earth-aligned; Drops Limes
Blue Guard 150 13 Water-aligned
Indigo Guard 300 21 Water-aligned
Violet Guard 500 34 Ice-aligned
Ultra Violent Guard 1000 55 Invisible; Drops Shades and Vial of Suncream

Island Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Ancient 500 5-9? Found on Moo Moo; Various alignments; Drops Ice Cream and Ancient Wood
Big Downer 500 10 Replaces items with weaker ones; May down two items in one attack
Booze Hound 200  ? Gets you drunker with each attack
Downer 500 10 Replaces items with weaker ones
Evil Ooze or
Friendly Slime
30-2553 3-25 Created during the Pandora's Socks quest; You cannot kill your own slime (it appears friendly); When one is killed, the others HP increases (x1.5) and do more dmg (+2); Drops Heart and Liver
Hydra 10000 10 x Heads Grows additional Heads (and gains 10000 HP) when attacked; Drops gold equal to its HP/10
Mirror Monster 1000 10 Flips you around; Reflects Wand attacks; Has your name backwards; Drops a Mirror
Monster 777 1 Turns into a Dolphin when attacked (or possibly something else); Can't be damaged
Big Scary Snake 1096  ? Trail of Trials room 1; Drops a Spoo Key, Bones and Snake Skins
Cave Ninja 200 10
+10 disarm
Trail of Trials room 4; Disarms you like a regular Ninja; Drops a Rusty Key and Catana
Lost and Mutated Treeman 2000 15 Trail of Trials room 7; Weapons only do 10% damage against it (including the Gorgan Head); Drops a Forign Key, Wood and Ancient Wood
Green Serpent 500  ? Trail of Trials room 8; Drops a Mon Key, Snake Skins and Rattle; Causes poisoning
Laughing Ghost 1000  ? Trail of Trials room 11; Invisible; Eats your food and drains XP; Drops a Man Key
Stinker 1 20 Trail of Trials room 14; Can't be killed or passed
Syd the Dragon 4000 10-50 Trail of Trials room 20; Same as a PolyChromatic Dragon; Drops a Han Key

See also: Gulls Gorgan Morrissey Cute Seal

Farm Animals

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Chicken 10 1 Found in Harvey Farm and Kansas; Feed with Wheat then kill to get an Egg; Drops 10 Feathers
Cow or Kitten 20 2 Attack with Bucket or Billy Can for Pint of Milk or Cream; Attack with Empty Jar for Gas; Drops Steaks and Hooves
Goat 20 1 Attack with Bucket or Billy Can for Pint of Goat's Milk; Attack with Scissors for Goats Hair; Drops Billy Cans, Goat Horns, Gruffs and Oohs
Sheep 10 1 Attack with Scissors for Fleece; Attack with Bucket or Billy Can for Pint of Sheep's Milk; Drops Mutton and Sheep Lung, Sheep Stomach, Sheep Heart or Lamb Liver

City, Road, Mall & Tube Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Busker 88?  ? Found in the Tube. Attack with a gold piece to instantly kill it but lose that many gold pieces
Omar the Troll 100 4 Found in the four Cities
Pigeon 3 0 Found in the Royal Palace; Attack with a Bird Cage for a Pigeon (In a cage); Otherwise unattackable
Rat 10 0 Found in the Darth Mall
Road Runner 10  ? Found on Roads; Not attackable; Part of the Armourer quest; Drops an Anvil
Shrieking Harpy 3000 10 Found around Bowling Alleys; Drops various Wands including Death Wand, Light Wand or Midas Wand
Sir Tim 1000 10 Found between Fire City and Water City; Drops Hyper-Link
Sister 10 2 Attack with Pointy Stick to drop a Quarrel; Drops a Long Skirt.
Zombie 45-63? 2 Found in the Darth Mall

Inner Region Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Cat 100 3-9? Only attackable with weapons that do under 10 damage; Weapons over 10 turn it into a Scaredy Cat, which can't be attacked at all
Emissary 250 0 Spreads rumours; Vanishes after being hit; Impossible to kill
perky n0rx 80 1-21
Snark 100 20 Can be caught in a Sack for the Snark Hunt quest
Vindaloo Monster 20 25 Only attackable with a Can of Lager; Drops a Tray of Curry and Garlic

Christmas Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Drummer 100 4 Has the name of a random real-life drummer; Drops 2 Pieces of Wood (Rick Allen drops one); Not hostile after you kill 12 of them
Boy or Girl 1-9 1 Drops Candies
Piper 30 5 x 2 Drops Pan Pipes of Peace and Plum Pie; Not hostile after you kill 11 of them
Lord 100 0 Has the name of a Great Lord; Actually a snowman, which always dies after 1 hit; Not hostile after you kill 10 of them
Lady 4-13 5 Has a random girl's name and alignment; Not hostile after you kill 9 of them
Maid 5 1 Drops 1-2 Pints of Milk and a Bucket; Not hostile after you kill 8 of them
Swan or Swan 20 4 x 2 Drops Feathers; Not hostile after you kill 7 of them
Goose 1-3 1 Drops Feathers
Blackbird 10 2 Drops Feathers; Not hostile after you kill 4 of them
French Hen 5 3 Has a random French girl's name; Drops Feathers and an Egg; Not hostile after you kill 3 of them
Dove 250 Same as Tortoises
(no disarm)
Random alignment; Drops same as Tortoises, plus Feathers; Does not need to be fed Pizza; Not hostile after you kill 2 of them
Partridge in a Tree 1 1 Drops Candies, Booze, 12 Pears, a Christmas Cracker and 1-3 Measures of Serenity

Other Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Bear 18 1 Sometimes called a Fete Bear
Big PolyChromatic Dragon  ?  ? Found on Dragon Island
Field Mouse 10 0 Spawns between two Planted Fields
Hippy 9-26? 1 Found at the Festival; Drops Cans of Lager or Mugs of Ale
Glamdrink Sucks! 999999999  ? Found near Windy City; Unattackable
Killer Queen 100 20 Hurt by the lyrics to the Queen song Killer Queen. Say/Shout for 5, Sing for 20
Knights who say Ni 100 5 Found in Forests and Jungles; Takes damage from spoken "it"
Leprachaun 20 2 Steals and drops Gold; Name may be spelt differently
Llama 28-80 2-7
Monochromatic Dragon 1000*2 10+10 Found on Dragon Island; Similar to a PolyChromatic Dragon except neutral and dark-aligned
Mutated PolyChromatic Dragon 1000*4 10+10+10+10 Similar to a PolyChromatic Dragon except shrimp, ice, spirit and sewage-aligned; Created by opening a Rusty Can of Wyrms; Drops a Rainbow Wand
Nightmare Dragon surprise surprise Final monster in The Gauntlet
PolyChromatic Dragon 1000*4 10+10+10+10 Needs players of all alignments to kill, and each player can only do 1000 dmg; It does 50 damage initially, and less when part of it dies; Created by opening a Crushed Can of Wyrms
Rabbit 6 1 or 20 Ones with "nasty sharp teeth" do 20 damage and appear as Killer Rabbit after you do the Animal Sanctuary quest; Drops Rabbit's Foot
small n0rx 6? 0-9
name the Snowman special 0 Created by players with a Snowman; Has that player's name; Throw Snowballs to increase its size and HP
Soft Wolf 6-14 1-2 May also appear as Hard Wolf
N Soldier Ants N 1 x N Found on Bad Lands
Witch 500 50 Drops 1-8 Mana and a Familiar; May turn you into a toad (for 15AP?) and give you a Curse
Wolf 6-14 1-2 Also see Werewolves

Retired Monsters

Name Initial Health Damage x Attacks Notes
Cities 10 3 Appeared as an April Fool
Evil player name your max HP / 5 25 Used to be created during the Pandora's Socks quest; Only attackable by the player who released them
Fire Fly 1 1 Gone but not forgotten
Flying Spaghetti Monster 1000 10 Found in the Great Desert and Kansas; Impervious to weapons; Hit with a Loaf of Bread to do 100 dmg or a Slice to do 10 dmg; Drops Garlic and Servings of Pasta
Heavenly Dragon 24 10 x (25 - its HP) Requires players of all 24 horoscope signs to kill it, and each player can do only 1 dmg
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