Order of the Club

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The Mercenary's Guild: Walk softly and carry a honking huge stick

The Order of the Club is an organization dedicated to making money for its members. How? We kill things for you. Or get things for you. Or, well, pretty much anything for money. Well, except that. Or that.

(What can we do? See below)


Guild Members

Currently accepting applications to help start up this guild. All professions welcome.

Hardened Mercs

Forged Of Misril Master Armourer Namorson (Guild Master)
Rock You Like a Hurricane Sgt. Duke Belkar MD
Solid as a Rock Sgt. Duke Stelio MD*
Vulcanized Che
Wizard Haldar

(Everyone feel free to "pretty up your name," as Stelio put it. Note, however, that the idea is to give us a clue of your alignment.)

Pending Members

These members are pending formal induction into the guild (once we get organized enough to hold a ceremony)

Honorary Members

Presidential Theodore Roosevelt

Retired Members

Our retired members are hanging out in their chateaus in the Retirement Village, sharpening their swords and telling stories about how much bigger the dragons were in their day.

Carved out of Wood Sgt. Duke Azuaron MD
Steel DancerDomingo Montoya
Permafrost Rock Sgt. Duke Flt MD*

* Missing, presumed retired


Members who, while part of other guilds, are willing to take on overflow work and otherwise help out the Order.


Rent a Sword (or Axe, or Lance, or Bow, or...)

Need the Gorgon or Giant weakened so you can kill it yourself? Want to walk through the Northwest Tunnels without having to battle Huge Mutant Rocs? Do you need the Mountain Trail cleared so you can become a Wizard? Are you tired of killing Adolescent Tortoises yourself to collect all those ninja weapons? If so, simply hire a member (or three) of the Order of the Club!

Possible Jobs

Here's some ideas of things you can hire one or more of us for. Note that this is not a full list - feel free to come up with your own. We're willing to do most anything that won't get us into trouble with The Great Lords.

Killing Things: The Order specializes in the slaughtering of poor defenseless giant beasties. Want the Mountain Trail cleared in order to get Huge reptiles? Want the Caverns to be demon-free? Hire us, and we'll do all the slaughtering for you! Ever run out of arrows or quarrels and have nothing left to finish a critter off with? Hire us - we'll finish it for you!

Almost Killing Things: Our greed is far greater than our love of the hunt. We're more than happy to weaken a big beastie (like the Giant or Kraken) so you can finish it off yourself.

Bodyguard Duty: So you want to get from point A to point B, but you don't want to spend the AP or risk the damage from facing monsters? One or more of our representatives will be more than happy to clear a path for you. For a price, of course.

Finding Things: Looking for a copy of You Spin Me Round, but don't want to spend all your mana killing Morpheus over and over? Trying to get those damned Blue Flowers? We'll do the hunting for you!

Finding Things To Kill: Pinatas got you down? The elusive Esquilax evading your final spotted tick mark? Whale evading your kill list for the Military Service quests? We'll find it for you! (And even summon you, if needed!)

General tasks (like feeding a pet) will cost 30 GP/AP. Special jobs may vary, especially if they have never been undertaken before. The latter can be negotiated.

Current Jobs

Client Job Merc Status
Your in-game name here Your task Our merc will contact you What's going on
Kaos Dragon Lots of Diamonds Belkar + others? In progress. He'll accept from any of us for 800 GP/diamond
Macksting Issues (PAYG for number)
Ade 2 complete sets of totem talismans

Merc Wanted

  • I have been told that 250gp/issue would be appropriate. I would like to buy, oh, about 100 issues at that price. --BortJr 17:33, 5 June 2008 (BST)
Whats your price per Stone? --BortJr 03:07, 27 July 2008 (BST)
  • I'm back for more!Have the money to continue my quest for a pair of Daemonic Chainsaw Nunchucks,but need to hire another mercenary to lower a pirates HP for it.

Completed Jobs

The following jobs have been completed, and hopefully the customers are satisfied. (If you're not satisfied, you really should let us know...)

Name Job
Looser Clear out the Zombies from the Mall (sweep 1)
Shaman Raistlin Escort through Bomb Squad/Thieves' Forest/Martial Arts Dojo
Looser Clear out the Zombies from the Mall (sweep 2)
BortJr Escort through bomb squad cavern
BortJr Provided a supply of crushed plums and flying fish
Durkon Talismans to all the Totems
Durkon 30 Sprigs of Mint
Sertularian Gather catanas
JPV Kill lots of critters
Gaby Weaken a 100K+ HP monster for Daemonic Weapon upgrade
Corellis Cure for lycanthropy
Corellis Provided Empty vials & cocktail glasses
Durkon 30 Sprigs of Mint
BortJr 100 issues
BortJr Talismans to the totems
Shaman Raistlin Talismans to the totems/Moo Moo
Tha'l Ghul 18 gimlets
Thog 1 unregistered non-evil goldfish

Current Guild Hall (under the Royal Wine Bar)*

Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Palace
Comms Room
Kings Library
Kings Palace
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Knights Registry
Order of the Club (entrance)
Royal Wine Bar
Throne Room
Kings Store
Kings Moat
Kings Moat [ball]
Guild Registry
Kings Palace
Kings Palace
Kings Palace
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Moat
Kings Road
Kings Moat
Kings Moat

* Yes, we know guildspace is 5 squares to one above, but our way is more fun...

Rules for Mercenaries

  1. Be active. If you're going to be inactive for a while, either go to Holiday Island (and make sure you're summonable) or leave the guild. We'll be happy to invite you back when you come back to the game.
  2. Any contract that would bring the wrath of the Great Lords (or the cities populace in general) down on the guild is strictly forbidden. If it'd get you alone in trouble, have fun.
  3. If you want to use a Treasury Card, you must have full insurance (so it can't fall into others' hands).
  4. Don't take on contracts for an alt (See: "Bring down the wrath of the Great Lords", above)
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