Poetry Club

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Poetry Club
Joke Contest

'tis often said that people with a rhyming skill don't show it -
So grab a chair and come and share your hidden inner poet!



(with a clear disregard for any sense of rythm):

I'm such a dork 
I wrote a poem
About the Cities
Where I roam
'Cause My AP
Has gone away
So now I've no more
Game to play
My room-mate thinks
I'm just insane
Addicted to 
this "stupid game"
I've badgered poor joe
about mushrooms and all
but with palantirs
he just won't call
nor talisman 
or taxi fly
nor fight a giant
in the sky
M'morp-G's all 
are second rate
he'd rather just 
go get a date
And fighting cows 
just won't appeal
even if 
I promised veal
or nightclubs with 
a baby seal
He'd rather not
learn how to heal
And tho he always
Pays the rent
He's never once
A drogna spent
And tho I've tried 
My level best
to get my friend
to join the quest
He'll never even 
make a name
asserting that 
"its just too lame"
But though he acts
too good for cities
scoffing at 
our monster titties
I'll never 
understand him yet;
I know
He's got a Neo-pet!!!!!!!!!!!!


"How Rocky Got His Rocks Back"

There was a noisy Rocky roc
That stood upon a mountain top
And sang in words of roccish glee
About his rocks so lovely.

"My rocks" he pined "are heaven sent!
One of a kind! No man could dent
The boulders that make up my hoard
Not even with the sharpest sword!"

And this he sang all through the day
Until his neighbours' patience frayed
So much that at their weekly meeting
They cried "We somehow must defeat him!"

And so up to his nest they crept
With torches burning bright
And stole the stones while Rocky slept
And hid them out of sight.

When morning came there was a cry
That rocked the tundra - shook the sky.
"Where are my rocks!" the Roc did shout
"I once had lots! But now - there's nowt!"

And hence down to the town he flew
But still no rocks came into view.
"How can I be a Roc," he said
"Without the rocks to make my bed?"

"Wait!" came a cry from by his side,
and up to Rocky there did stride
A man with most outlandish hair.
"I think that I can help you there!"

"When the sun goes down today,
Make for the standing stones.
You'll find your boulders there, I pray
So you can build your throne!"

The neighbours they were tucked away
And in their beds slept sound.
But then a shriek did come their way:
"My missing rocks are found!"

They made their way back to the nest
And when they came they were perplexed.
Surrounding Rocky's roccish home
There was a pile of gleaming stones!

"You see," he said, when they did ask,
"This man came to my plight.
He gave me just one simple task:
I rocked around the clock last night!"


Oh, to be in Cities now that April's there,
For whoever walks past Bögnør now, this morning, is aware,
That the frozen seas and the glaciation
Where the magic eggs hide are all a-melting,
While the icewarrior spins on the tundra, "Pow!"
In Cities - ow!

With sincerest apologies to Robert Browning.

Haiku is reasonably easy, just make the lines 5/7/5 syllables and stick something in about the weather or seasons or something (don't tell me off, haiku fans!):

I wrote a Cities
Haiku last night, in the cold,
But I forgot it.
Today I kill snakes.
"You feel a tiny bit cold,"
The game informs me.


Treeman with thick skin
With the proper equipment
They fall like timber

the now desert worthy Density

the nightmare dragon
the sweat pours down my forehead
my scream wakes my soul
vote -- Sertularian 12:50, 12 April 2006 (BST)
I found a pinata in a tree.
I was warned to just let it be,
or to help out the rest
who, on completing their quest,
will donate some kudos to me.  Density 20:34, 13 April 2006 (BST)


The Rabbit (6) smiles
Its grin so toothily filled:
I smile back and run.
An ode to Blinky:
Life short as falling raindrops.
Dead Goldfish (Blinky)


"A Cities Love Ballad"
  by Duke dragon MD

I met a Sexy Fire Dragon
  Lounging at a Spire
And I knew in a second that
  She was my heart's desire.
(I had Beer Goggles at the time,
  But that's of no import--
I knew at once this dragon fair
  I instantly must court.)

I offered her my hand, but she
  Just let me walk on by,
And lo!  Three rivals for her love
  My watchful gaze did spy.
Surrounding me upon the Spire,
  Water, Earth, and Air,
They challenged me unto the death
  For my lady fair.

One by one I slew them all
  With sword and wand and lance
And all the while my lady watched
  And my heart did dance.
But when I turned to her to see
  If my valor did impress
She sat unmoving and unmoved
  By this, my noble quest.

I tried to woo her heart with gold
  (For dragons like to hoard)
But all the riches I held out
  Were steadfastly ignored.
Not emeralds, diamonds, nor an opal
  (My, she's in perfect health!)
Were desired by my sweet,
  Nor any other wealth.

I offered her a Beef Steak
  For a small repast,
But she sat still and did not move
  As I once more walked past.
She seemed unimpressed with titles,
  For I said I'm a Duke MD,
But she cared not upon her Spire--
  She barely looked at me.

I did not want to Anger her
  But I had no other choice,
For I need my love to notice me
  And listen to my voice.
Before this she would let me by
  And little did she care
But now she noticed, and advanced,
  Her wicked teeth she bared.

Though she still bites and claws and flames
  I claim her as my own,
And I hope that she'll calm down with time
  And true love can be known.
For now, I rest assured and know 
  That as long as she lives,
On this Sexy Fire Dragon
  This Duke MD has dibs.  :)

--Dragon 04:33, 12 April 2006 (BST)

Wow!!! -- Sertularian 12:53, 12 April 2006 (BST)
This poem might become illustrated, if I get around to it.  :) --Dragon 18:18, 13 April 2006 (BST)

And now, a few limericks for your amusement:

An Earl on a quest to be Duke
Said "Any monster I can practically nuke
For, since I am Fire,
My to-hit's much higher
But I can't for my life grow a cuke!"
Two Duelists met under the sun,
Said the Air to the Earth, "You've not won--
Your alignment, you see,
And your extra HP
Are no match for my Golden Gun."

and finally:

In the fantasy realm of the Cities
We find gold, bling, and more pretties
Guarded not by goblins and orcs
But instead by big n0rx
My, what impressive...monsters.

--Dragon 18:18, 13 April 2006 (BST)


The Giant Spider

A cities man attacks,
The giant spider's back
Spider said:
"Who disturbs me in my bed?
Fie! Fie!
Don't even try!
Gotta go,
And Oh!
I love your bow!
Now here I go..."
Shakes the mans hand,
And off goes, 
A cities man's foe.

Nuru nuru

俳句 it is then.

Graceful northern land.
Sun refracts through polar shards.
It gets well cold like.
Fly, golden cities!
Soar, your nebulous grandeur!
It is a good game.
Graveyard ale consumed,
trap poised, aquiver and pissed,
eighty-two to go.
Curious centre.
Obscured by transient rocks?
html lurks.


Cities we will love

With no ap left to spare

I write a haiku


O Worm, thou are sick
The invincible 'King
that rules in the land
in the cities four
Has found out thy road
of wriggling joy
and his dark secret code
does thy life destroy.

(With thanks and apologies to William Blake)


I apologise for the poor quality of this and all my poems:

I once a-wandered in a land,
Strange, I did not understand,
Why in this world, though nice
And not, as I thought, for a price
To pay, enjoyable,
Or perhaps even identifiable.

So went, did I, from town to town,
The water blue, the earth was brown,
The 'king I saw, his palace great,
Indeed, I thought him quite my mate,
And kind he was to me - that night
He made me a brave Sir knight.

Still more I sought the truth to find,
The cabal, indeed, exists solely in my mind.
And foes I found, monsters abroad,
Slew them I, with fist and sword,
Things they relinquished unto me -
Gold and gems, and I was free.


All of my poems are here, but here's my favourite contribution to date. This was performed at the First Annual KOT Dinner, hosted by Syagrius.

Duke Rhapsodie MD says: 'Whilst wandering through the desert as I am wont to do 
I came upon a gentleman, though I recall not who 
He wore upon his shiny head a crown of jewels and gold 
I saw it gleam, my fingers twitched, and then that crown I stole 
I ran into the sandy wastes; from there adventured wide: 
Fiery swamps and mountain peaks – and everywhere I’d hide 
Fearing that someone would come and then treat me the same! 
I grew quite fond of my new crown; I wished it bore my name.  
And then one day another came, a fellow called Melchitt 
He saw, he twitched, he stole my crown, the naughty little sh-'
BOOOOOOOM! (Duke Rhapsodie MD just let off a huge fire-cracker!)


I wrote this one act play while mapping the Crill Sea, November 15th, 2007. It rhymes & is metered, so I'm counting it as poetry.

On Killing Plankton
Dramatis Personae:
Player a Bell-Ringer for the Salvation Army
Plankton a marine Life-Form

Act 1, Scene 1:
[Ocean, Mid-November]
Enter Player and Plankton

Play. Approaching here, that keeps the World atilt,
Some plankton comes. And with unselfish care,
My purpose to extort upon his guilt
Some coin, I conjure thus a simple air.

Plankton approaches. Player rings Bell

Plank. Why dost this trenchant bruit bruise the ears
Of autumn, and our generosity
Assault? Still yet a fortnight waits ere nears
The 'holy' Advent of Nativity.

Plankton ignores Player.

Play. My sacred duties shall not unfill'd be
For want of ringing me this plaintive bell.
My arm now thrice-fold cries the woes of He
Who with God's love of Man to death once fell.

[Rings Bell louder. Plankton still ignores Player]
Bell breaks.

[Aside.] Without my moral compass to decree
One's thoughts, One's given to decide what's Right
Or Wrong! and may of chance fall far from Thee.
They fight. Plankton dies.
[Aloud.] Thus justly I have sav'd him from that plight.

How better did my violence serve than voice
To give me strength to free his life from choice.




You attack the Plankton.
You play the Hand Bell.
The Plankton doesn't seem impressed.
Your Hand Bell has worn out.
You lose a Hand Bell.
You slay the Plankton.
Now using Fists.


"The Saga of the Lost" (written after the golden condor was stuck in the high plateau for 2 days)

  • Aurous fowl, north to the frozen
  • But the pilot must have been a'dozin
  • A bit too late to catch his blunder
  • Split in twine, the rock, asunder

  • Now poor souls are bound and trapped
  • on airy peaks all snowy capped.
  • "How long?", they ask to one another
  • "Until we're forced to eat each other?"

  • Cold, they await and contemplate,
  • the speed of the hand that guides their fate.
  • Stuck for days, they've been through hell.
  • Now where the devil is that GL?

"And So They Shall"

  • Where Death becomes Stone,
  • all heroes flock.
  • Met with the unknown,
  • they watch the clock.
  • When the hour is shown,
  • They walk the walk.
  • And they continue on.

  • At first, “A new quest!”
  • It’s met with zeal.
  • Had time to digest,
  • It’s not ideal.
  • “The vents” they attest,
  • “Have lost appeal.”
  • Yet they continue on.

  • Waiting for a move,
  • The hour is late.
  • To maybe improve,
  • Their regen rate.
  • But all they do
  • Is sit and wait
  • ‘till they continue on.

  • ‘Cause they are the ones,
  • Who asked the ‘king.
  • For a few new puns
  • or monsters mean.
  • Now all of the fun
  • That they can glean.
  • Is to continue on.

  • And so they shall.
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