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This page is the hallowed ground of funny things that happen in Cities. Or the cities IRC channel. Or an amusing conversation about Cities. We're not picky.

(We are, however, picky about date formats. Anyone found using middle-endian dates will be publically insulted and then ridiculed.)


Date Unknown

<Stevie-O>	uh
<Stevie-O>	who is Alberta?
<Heyus2>	albert's gf
<Stevie-O>	a *bot* got a gf?
<Heyus2>	bots need love too
<Albert>	I don't
<Albert>	I hate you all
<Alberta>	I think you're blocking.
<Albert>	Whatever, hun
<Heyus2>	this channel just reached an entirely new level of odd
<Heyus2>	and licking JR was hard to top


<MrFoo>     oh DS, I was trying to work out what use Mail would be, then was thinking, 
           you probably designed it, so there'll be some pun involved. Unfortunately 
           the best I could come up with was that Iron is Fe... so it's Fe-Mail. But 
           that doesn't help :)
<darkling>  Worry, uncertainty, confusion, doubt...
<darkling>  My job here is done!
<MrFoo>     You've managed to get people to never look for the really simple answer first, 
           that's for sure.
<MrFoo>     Do you see Occam's Razor as a personal insult to game design? ;)


<Stien> How about porn... we could advertise in game for porn sites... we could make really good 
<dragon> There are already big n0rx in-game...
<Stien> yeah, you kill one, and you get a "link"
<Stien> When you use it, it'll take you to a porn site.
<Stien> And cities racks in the dough
<PotatoEngineer> So, aside from selling their souls, the GLs make out like bandits.  Sounds 
        good to me!
<Stien> souls?
<Stien> Maybe you haven't seen the halarious videos, the internet is for porn... They would just 
        be doing there civic web servant duty.
<PotatoEngineer> I can imagine the palantir news announcements:  "Please use your Links!  We get 
        money for visits, not item drops!"


[20:47]	-->|	PotatoEngineer (chatzilla@S01060011950bddfb.vc.shawcable.net) has joined #cities
[20:51]	-->|	Stien (stienf9@66-214-140-208.dhcp.gldl.ca.charter.com) has joined #cities
[20:52]	<Stien>	Heyo
[20:54]	<PotatoEngineer>	Hola!
[20:55]	<Stien>	How you doin
[20:55]	<PotatoEngineer>	Alive, breathing, not missing any major organs.... I'm doing great!
[20:55]	<Stien>	Sounds sweet!
[20:57]	<PotatoEngineer>	Speaking of which.... can I interest you in a kidney?
[21:01]	<Stien>	... for food, or medical use?
[21:01]	<PotatoEngineer>	Either-or. It's a bit pricey for food, though.
[21:02]	<Stien>	Depends... have you ever gotten completely hammereD?
[21:02]	<PotatoEngineer>	Why, yes indeed!
[21:02]	<Stien>	oooh... thats not so good...
[21:03]	<Stien>	Done any recreational drugs?
[21:03]	<PotatoEngineer>	Er, only once?
[21:04]	<dragon>	Stien: he never said it was *his* kidney...
[21:04]	<Stien>	Ah, touche.
[21:05]	<Stien>	How old is this kidney? (out of body time.)
[21:05]	<PotatoEngineer>	Hasn't been removed yet. It'll be fresh when you need it!
[21:06]	<Stien>	Hmm, location of delivery?
[21:08]	<PotatoEngineer>	I'll drop it off on the docks at 1am. You can pay me then.
[21:08]	<Stien>	whats the price?
[21:08]	<elseware>	I'm sure there's a cities quest there somewhere...
[21:08]	<dragon>	For those type of quests it's not necessarily best to be the first mover...
[21:09]	<dragon>	elseware: well, there do exist "human heart" and "human liver" in-game...
and docks, come to think of it.


(this is the day after Elseware's RL birthday party)

<Elsephone> I have been foraging in the party debris. To eat i can find only
            limes, cheese staws, caviar, brie, quails eggs and herring. Pluis 
            one small haggis i dont quitr feel up to. To drink: soda water
<dragon> it took me several seconds to realize you were talking about RL
<dragon> Party:  Forage (24 AP)
<dragon> You forage...
<dragon> You gain a brie.
<darkersatanic> ROFL. That definitely needs to be done. :)
<dragon> oh no.  ;)


<Stien> this is wierd...
<Stien> !item rocksors
<Alberta> Stien: None on offer. How about a nice Monnkey Nut?
<Stien> Is alberta coming on to me?
<Kaos_Dragon> Careful, Albert might break your kneecaps.
<Stien> I've done nothing! :(
<Stien> It was all her!
<Stien> I swear!
<Kaos_Dragon> So? I'd punch a guy in the throat if my girl flirted with him.
* Alberta is now known as StiensGirl
<Stien> ...
<Stien> Damn straight.
* Stien slaps StiensGirl on the rear.
<Stien> You know you like it.
* StiensGirl is now known as ImLeavingYou
<Stien> Wha?
* ImLeavingYou is now known as Alberta
<Stien> Why baby...
<Stien> We had a good thing going?!
<Stien> Why do woman always have to ruin true romance with sexual harrasment charges?
<dragon> on a completely unrelated note, jmb should probably add some more security to his bot code ;)


Some people just don't last long at ALL.

[14:52] <Albert> >> Welcome to new fire novice, goggz from
[14:57] <Albert> >> Omar the Troll has just killed goggz in the Outer Region.


<Harry> when your entire life is stored in one database record, pride is everything.


a classic game of mornington crescent see here: Mornington Crescent


* royan|dedibox has quit (Client exited)
<royan> hah. My ircII gave: Suddenly the Dungeon collapses!! - You die...irc
<royan> er. or maybe that was screen(1)
<MrFoo> That was probbaly screen with nethack mode compiled in
<royan> it didn't like me resizing the terminal perhaps
<dragon> Don't be silly.  No one puts a screen(1) door in a dungeon.  ;)
* darkling hits dragon on the muzzle with a rolled up newspaper
<darkling> Bad dragon!
<darkling> No knight!
<Sertulaptop> rofl


<ScurvyPirate>	PE just uses his little gadgets to spy on all of us anyway ;)
<greycat>	He's a potato. He has a thousand eyes.


<ScurvyPirate>	Anyone want to pop over to air city and steal my straw hat?
<Albert>	>> Welcome to new air novice, strawhatman from
<Rembrandt>	HAHAHAHA
<Rembrandt>	thats slightly obvious :P


<Albert>       >> The Bear has just killed savage henry in the 'Kingdom.
<Alberta>      savage henry... again?
<greycat>      The bear clearly thought savage was a verb.


Zombie bot:

<Alberta> graaaagh.
<naath> help, the friendly neighbourhood bot has become a zombie
* greycat covers his brain
<Harry> a zombie with ops? save us
<greycat> Baaaaans!

Giving new meaning to the term "short-lived"

[11:19] Albert: >> Welcome to new earth novice, sodda from  
[11:21] Albert: >> Omar the Troll has just killed sodda in the 'Kingdom.
[11:21] Alberta: sodda, noooooooo!


<Albert> >> The Mountain Goat has just killed Wizard Sertularian in the frozen North.
<Alberta> Wizard Sertularian, noooooooo!
<Sertularian> Um.....
<Sertularian> Your Quantum Legwarmer causes 1102361353 damage. 
<Sertularian> The Mountain Goat causes 1102361356 points of damage. 
<Sertularian> The Mountain Goat kills you. 
<Sertularian> You have died.
<darkling> Ooops.
<darkling> That's a bit broken.
<darkling> Sorry.
<Sertularian> Help?
<Incen> I'm not killing that goat for you, if that's what you're asking, sert
<Incen> or, rather, dying to


<General_Thog>	Okay. Pets are fed
<General_Thog>	Mirror in use
<General_Thog>	Iron Blings worn
<General_Thog>	You place the stone on the ground and chant the name of merchant.
<General_Thog>	merchant, merchant, MERCHANT!
<General_Thog>	Wizard Merchant appears looking a little surprised. They pick up the summon stone, as is   traditional.
<General_Thog>	You lose a Summon Stone.
<Albert>	>> Wizard Merchant has just killed Sgt. Duke Belkar MD in the Thieves' Forest.
<Alberta>	Belkar, noooooooo!
<General_Thog>	Well, it was worth a try


<AndyLandy>	I've been trying to get Cities as part of my job description
<Incen>	spin it as web 2.0 research
<GlamDistracted>	That would be pretty cool.
<AndyLandy>	Ooh :)
<AndyLandy>	Web 2.0 research! Nice!
<dragon>	"a collaborative online environment with interactive goal-oriented processes and participant-centric development"


<Rhapsodie> The ice floe is melting. I am standing looking at a sheep in the middle of the ocean.
<Sert|ProbablyLurking> Does it smell like wet wool?
<Rhapsodie> Well, not the middle, but off shore... :)
<Harry> Perhaps it's a ewe boat
[later ...]
<Rhapsodie> You know, if the water is shallow enough for the sheep to wade in it, why do I need a boat? :S
<Harry> Inflatable.
<Rhapsodie> But... it had... milk...
<Sert|ProbablyLurking> The sheep?
<Rhapsodie> Oh dear god! :S
<Sert|ProbablyLurking> That... Wasn't... Milk....
* Rhapsodie cries.


Another sign you've been playing Cities too much...

<Rhapsodie> I left a message on phw's voicemail telling him to get his ass to the Ancient Castle! :P
<dragon> hahaha
* Rhapsodie wonders what the telephone provider would think if they heard it.


* Rhapsodie	wonders if Ruthven will mind her crushing grapes like Stu Francis in his Library.
* Rhapsodie	wipes grape juice from a leather book with the hem of her lab coat.
<darkling>	Don't get the books sticky!
<Rhapsodie>	I wouldn't dare!! :)
<darkling>	The copy of "Fear and Loathing in Barad Dûr" is a first edition!
<darkling>	"I was halfway to Rivendell when the drugs began to take hold..."
<darkling>	Hunter S. Tolkein... what a writer. :)

Also, the GLs' punny sense of humor seems to be affecting the rest of us...

Jul 28 01:38:05 <Rhapsodie>	Andy, can I have an elephant gun so I don't have to starve them at least? It's not very humane! :P
Jul 28 01:38:18 <naath>	poor elephants
Jul 28 01:38:33 <AndyLandy>	Rhapsodie: I'll consider it :)
Jul 28 01:38:38 <Rhapsodie>	Woot :)
Jul 28 01:39:47 <darksatanic>	Hang on... starving your elephants isn't humane, 
Jul 28 01:40:01 <darksatanic>	but putting them inside some gigantic cannon and firing them at things *is*?
Jul 28 09:07:05 <AndyLandy>	I'm happy with autofeed
Jul 28 09:07:25 <AndyLandy>	Might even implement an "elephant gun" to save you the bother of figuring out how to starve it
Jul 28 09:07:53 <General_Thog>	andylandy:  a gun that fires elephants at monsters?
Jul 28 09:08:17 <darkling>	General_Thog: We've already had this joke once today. :)


<Corellis>           fun fact: Thailand is the world's capital for penis cutting. 
<General_Thog>       Problems?
<HihoSilver_Away>    He went to Thailand.


<AndyLandy>	!item Turkey Sandwich
<Alberta>	AndyLandy: None on offer. How about a nice *ZOT* from a GL?
<AndyLandy>	Alberta: The GLs wouldn't zot /me/!
=-=	AndyLandy was booted from #cities by darksatanic (*ZOT*)
<Rhapsodie>	lmao
-->|	AndyLandy (sysapl@webc-335071AD.ecs.soton.ac.uk) has joined #cities
=-=	Mode #cities +o AndyLandy by Alberta
=-=	Mode #cities -o darksatanic by AndyLandy
<Alberta>	Removed darksatanic from the autoop list.
<AndyLandy>	:p
<darksatanic>	:þ
* Rhapsodie	laughs so hard she falls off her chair.
* AndyLandy	fell off his chair
<AndyLandy>	well,
* AndyLandy	fell off his IRC channel
<Phw>	lol


<AndyLandy>	On the 12th day of Cities, the Great Lords gave to me...
<BortJr>	12 *ZOTS* a-crackling...
<AndyLandy>	12 baskets of plums, 11 pomegranates, 10 jelly fishes, 9 mugs of coffee, 8 air catanas,
7 rusty swords, 6 magic opals, FIVE GOLD BLINGS
<AndyLandy>	4 pwny eggs, 3 fountain pens, 2 cattle prods and a pinata in a tree
<AndyLandy>	(Feel free to improve upon this first draft)
<darkling>	11 Great Lords Leaping?
<Harry>		12 race conditions, 11 database errors, 10 code bugs, 10 code bugs, 10 code bugs,
10 code bugs,


<cjg>	good news!
<cjg>	http://lemur.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~cjg/Archive/Photos/2008/LL918/Photo%2062.jpg
<cjg>	All citizens will make merry on pain of death


The true nature of Cities...

<Elsephone> But alll my ideas sound like subgenius propagnda.
<Elsephone> Do long an complicated quests for virtually no reward... Find and collect 
            over 1600 types of item. Many of which have NO USEFUL FUNCTION.
<Elsephone> Why fight dragons when you could be studying the genetic makeup of 
            hamsters and breeding them to be more PUNK


[04/09/09 14:03] <karlvasa>	Anyone looking for a duelist?
[04/09/09 14:03] <darksatanic>	I am.
[04/09/09 14:04] <darksatanic>	Oh, never mind. Won't be able to move until Wednesday. :(
[04/09/09 14:04] <karlvasa>	Next to Standing Stone XXIV
[04/09/09 14:04] <karlvasa>	He's at a monastery, so maybe he'll still be there then. :P

Perhaps he will.  ;-) -- Sertularian 23:24, 9 April 2009 (BST)


<Euseb942> if i was evil i'd say you need to code, not drink
<darkersatanic> There's a difference?
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