The Vaudeville Guild/Humidor

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The XXXXXXXXXX Celebratory Humidor

The Vaudeville Guild's most treasured possession was won by competitive auction. We bid a performance of sleeping beauty.

 Watch the performance here

The humidor is available for loan to all guild members in their pursuit of performance and creativity. Palantir or use the Guild Comms Room for bookings.

The Curse Of The Terrible Humidor

Be careful what you wish for. You just may get it.

Upon the birth of my son, back in January, the Great Lords saw fit to present me with a magical Humidor. A wonderous device from which cigars could endlessly be produced. These cigars essentially had the same properties as fags in terms of AP gain, combined with HP loss with the slight risk of lowered max AP or HP too. I gave them out freely in celebration of the arrival of my little boy Zack on the planet. Many enjoyed them.

Now, Zack is crawling and has teeth, but the humidor has become a curse upon me. 'How? Why?' you may ask. Well, I have for too long now been availing myself of the benefits of AP gain, but the toll has been high. Oh yes. My max AP and HP are battered to the point now where I have to do something about it and rid myself of this monkey on my back.

My name is XXXXXXXXXX and I am a cigar addict.

This is my attempt to get clean. And also (heh heh heh) pass on the curse, and in doing so make the game just a tiny bit more interesting too.

(The only caveat to the offer I am about to make is that it be, at some point, loaned to PotatoEngineer for his quest. I thought that might be nice for him). However - he is also free to make an offer for it himself to keep permanently too, should he so wish.

Smoking cigars is a gamble. Some evenings I've been able, through a combination of Dragon Stone use and cigars, to gain several hundred extra AP in the space of a few minutes. If you've got a massive max AP & HP combination, achieved through various means, surely that's a risk you'd be willing to take? This unique item has its price. The toll it takes may be mighty. But maybe *you* could be the one to beat the odds. Maybe you would use Universal Solvent to destroy it. Maybe you could place it out of reach - guarded by Polychromatic Dragons, placed on the corpse of a mule, deep under the ground - a quest such as this could be your legacy to the game, perhaps? Or you could come up with another solution or scheme.

So - my desire is this: Offer me cucumber sandwiches and Hard Knocks items so that I may regain my constitution. Offer me many of them. A great many. And to the highest bidder goes the terrible Cursed Humidor to do with as he, she or zhe wishes.

10X10X 19:37, 3 September 2007 (BST)

It also occurs to me that this may be a useful item for a guild to possess.
  • I bid a pheonix feather. Kaos Dragon 16:34, 6 September 2007 (BST)
YOU HAVE BEEN OUTBID. BID AGAIN NOW! Reminder: Even if you don't bid again, you could still end up the winner if higher bids are cancelled or retracted. Continue to check the status of this item until it ends.10X 15:55, 7 September 2007 (BST)
  • I'll bid thirty Phoenix feathers and five triffid stings and a unicornucopia! Quantum 20:18, 10 September 2007 (BST)
  • I bid 100.000 GP in cash. (...and may I recommend The Cucumber Factory for your Sandwich needs?) --TerrorRemedy 21:21, 10 September 2007 (BST)
Just to clarify - that's one hundred thousand gold pieces, right? Not one hundred gps. 10x
Yeah, one hundred thousand gold pieces. (But if you prefer one hundred point zero zero zero gps I think I can fix that too :) ) --TerrorRemedy 22:56, 10 September 2007 (BST)
  • I'll bid 17 Roc Rocks, 12 Triffid Stings, 100 Phoenix Feathers, and 56 cloves of garlic. PotatoEngineer 00:45, 11 September 2007 (BST)
The 100k cash beats that, I'm afraid.
How, pray tell? Conservatively, the Roc Rocks alone are 4k apiece, the triffid stings around 1500, and the garlic 500 each, and that's leaving out the Phoenix Feathers. And if you were to buy these on the markets or Mallr, you'd be paying about 50% more. But if you'd honestly prefer cash over items, then I'll bid 120k. PotatoEngineer 03:26, 11 September 2007 (BST)
"How, pray tell?" - Well, really, because of the effects of Nightingspells and their common use at parties and pentacles, Max HP isn't such an issue these days. I'm thinking of the cash in terms of the number of cucumber sandwiches it can buy. Also, percieved cash value of items isn't uniform. I could burn around the interior with a Ghastly Bling and a couple of Bashing Stuff spells and pick up those items for a quite low AP spend. So, to me, their value is low in comparison to hard cash. I could, of course, sell them myself, but meh, boring. 10X 09:20, 11 September 2007 (BST)
Ah, I didn't realize you were weighting more towards AP. I'll change my bid to 120,000 GP, then. PotatoEngineer 11:14, 11 September 2007 (BST)
  • 130.000 GP. Sorry PotatoMan, I'm too rich to be nice. --Bubba_the_Shy 11:19, 11 September 2007 (BST)
  • Perhaps we could change the currency of the auction into cucumber sandwiches. Either at their current market value, or into the number you can personally supply me with? My current tolerance stands at 12 sandwiches and I'm looking to gain back 70-80AP. Umm... and I've no head for numbers, so someone else could perhaps figure out what the 'reserve' is on this auction. I don't think I'm being greedy here. A dedicated buyer or guild could recoup their investment with some intelligent use of this item within a reasonable amount of time. I may throw in a Speeder Bike, to sweeten the deal, if the price goes high enough. 10X 10X 11:34, 11 September 2007 (BST)
So you want at least 24 sets of sandwiches; that's a total of (13+36)/2*24, or 588 sandwiches. At Cucumber Factory prices (they only have 86, by the way), that's 4,704,000 GP. So, who's got 4.7 million GP to spare? PotatoEngineer 11:55, 11 September 2007 (BST)
Hmm... I didn't realise it would come out at that much. I'm seeing some people approaching 1000 max AP though, so there must be good sources of sandwiches out there, which come at a far lower cost price to their creators. Ah well, the item's worth whatever anyone's willing to pay for it, so let the bidding continue. Sandwiches or cash. Whichever. And I'm now officially chucking in the Speeder Bike. So, at present, the winner is getting a bargain. 10X
I've been working towards 1000 maxAP for some time and am still only a little over 800. The costs grow with each AP raise and I rarely make my own sandwiches. There are other methods of gaining AP (human liver comes to mind, but I know you just bought one from my store). Have you done all 3 AP raising quests? -Jon
I think the only way to get there is to wait for Elseware's birthday, and not spend all your gifts on silly hats or horsies--Solune 14:26, 11 September 2007 (BST)

Since this auction doesn't have the eBay-style setup, and I happen to be the proprietor of the Sandwich Factory, I'll just say that I'm willing to outbid the highest bidder by 1 Cuke Sandwich. As of right now, that would be 130k/8k + 1 = 17 sandwiches. This bid stands until I cancel it. Billz8 14:28, 11 September 2007 (BST)

Well, no sense in letting Billz8 have it cheap. I'll bid 170k. PotatoEngineer 21:12, 11 September 2007 (BST)
22 Sandwiches. Billz8 02:38, 12 September 2007 (BST)
Okay, one last bid, because I just can't resist: 180k, and.... 164 Fags. PotatoEngineer 06:57, 12 September 2007 (BST)
Heh, offering Fags to someone who's trying to quit this bad habit. How very pernicious of you... 200k GP --Bubba_the_Shy 12:59, 12 September 2007 (BST)
25 sandwiches Billz8
  • Okay. I have just, in effect, put a Buy It Now price on the Humidor by putting it on sale in the Mall. However, this auction still stands, if no one buys it within a reasonable amount of time. 10X10X 13:34, 13 September 2007 (BST)
  • 400k GP! (You sure you don't want those Fags I'm offering?) PotatoEngineer 15:18, 13 September 2007 (BST)
Stop it! Wait? If they're Sobranies, maaaybe.... no, no... stop it! X
400k? When I checked Mallr it showed up as 3,500,000 GP (note, that's 437.5 sammiches) . -Jon 21:08, 13 September 2007 (BST)
That's just the 'Buy It Now' price for anyone wealthy enough to not bother with the auction. I'm anticipating that this will still produce a buyer rather than that option. X
Aahh, my bad. I thought PE was suggesting the Buy It Now was 400k and wondering where he came up with that number. Just ignore me. -Jon 21:56, 13 September 2007 (BST)

400/8 + 1 = 51 Sandwiches. Billz8 21:59, 13 September 2007 (BST)

When exactly does this auction end? What is the "buy it now" option? -JAD

500k and a Toy Unicorn! PotatoEngineer 08:19, 14 September 2007 (BST)

The Auction ends when bidding dries up, indicating final offers have pretty much been reached. The Buy It Now option can be found on the 13th floor of the Mall.

Ha! I bid a performance of Sleeping Beauty where I am dressed up like Steve Gerrard and I'm awakened by a kiss from the lovely Robin Williams who is dressed in fishnets and a diamond bling. There will be fountains, wandering troubadours and special guest star Benji the Dog. You will also be personally honoured on The Vaudeville Guild website and get the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to broadcast a xmas speech from the Guild Comms room to all guild members. Thank you and goodnight Schnorrer 09:28, 14 September 2007 (BST)

If you put that on You Tube before the end of the week, it's yours. Performing with action figures or puppets is acceptable. Seriously. X
Hmm...if I wasn't moving house on Monday it'd be done - it might even yet - we're talking Sunday end of the week here? Schnorrer 17:43, 14 September 2007 (BST) with compliments Schnorrer 18:08, 15 September 2007 (BST)
That's... spectacular. Tell me, were you certifiable before you started playing Cities, or have we made you this way? Either way, our job here is done... :) Darksatanic 18:40, 15 September 2007 (BST)
Sorry, no credit for you - this stems back beyond sixth form biology where I used to balance things on my nose and make seal noises - not that usual in an all girls' school. And in any case, in my experience it's not usually the people who do things like me who end up certifiable. Schnorrer 20:18, 15 September 2007 (BST) (It is nice to have an appreciative audience though!)
Odd. Must be something about biology lessons. I got my nickname from a biology teacher at school. Darksatanic 00:28, 16 September 2007 (BST)
Someone post this video on the main page of the wiki!--Hamelin 03:15, 16 September 2007 (BST)

500/8 + 1 = 64 Sandwiches. And I'll be pretty upset if you hold an auction but then give it away to someone for doing a puppet show. Billz8 18:26, 14 September 2007 (BST)

Cry baby bunting...:-P
I'm of the opinion that giving a Humidor away for an absurd YouTube video is made of awesome. And weird. And absurd. But definitely awesome. PotatoEngineer 19:50, 14 September 2007 (BST)
Concurred! --Bubba_the_Shy 12:43, 15 September 2007

  • Wonderful! Brave maestro! The humidor passes to the Vaudeville Guild. Come to the trading post in Fire City to recieve it. I suggest you give this masterpiece its own Wiki page and Current Events heading. 18:46, 15 September 2007 (BST)
Words fail me. I am so delighted to receive this incredible honour. It will be the Guild's most treasured possession and we will certainly honour the loan to potatoengineer. What does a humidor do again? :) Schnorrer 09:59, 16 September 2007 (BST)

Cities, we love you all!

 Cpl. Duke Stelio MD has given you kudos.
 They said: "Kudos for genius work in the field of performance art. I saulte you, sir, for your short turnaround and artistic vision.         
 Really, very well done. :-D"
 Cpl. Duke Stelio MD has given you kudos.
 They said: "Have some more"
 Cpl. Duke Stelio MD has given you kudos.
 They said: "Because you're worth it"
 Cpl. Duke Stelio MD has given you kudos.
 They said: ";-)"
 Magister XXXXXXXXXX gives you a Humidor.
 Magister XXXXXXXXXX says 'And it is done.'
 Shaman Sertularian has given you kudos.
 They said: "I'm not a big patron of the arts, but the Sleeping Beauty video is absolutely brilliant. Bravo!"
 GUILD: [Prompt Box] Have a nice day
 Pvt. Duke BortJr MD (Harveday, 16th of Fructidor, about four in the morning):
 I had an idea for you: Make more cities related videos, and sell "videotapes" in your store. The tape would just be a memo
 titled whatever. Once a week or so, you'd check the sales, and send the link(s) to whoever bought the video(s) from your store.
 just a  thought, BortJr


A vortex sucks you up. It seems that you have been summoned by King Elseware. You go to pick up the Summon Stone 
(as is traditional), but it's broken.

And Schnorrer ends up in Barbelith? Was that performance art?

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