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The Chronickles of Amish the Robots

AmishRobots 06:59, 9 April 2010 (BST) still here. yup. just recently began a 2010 census, to determine who else is around.

--AmishRobots 01:37, 9 April 2007 (BST)

incredibly stupid move of the month: so i finally decided to use my new "steal from other players" option. just to see how it worked. I saw how it worked, got some nice bronze ore off some guy. Also got killed. By a guy with a PIECE OF FRICKING WOOD!!! Note to self: do not try thieving when you have only one HP left. Somebody's liable to whack you upside the head with a moldy stick for it. Not even a sharp stick! just a damn piece of wood, damn! I could've spent less AP mining!

--AmishRobots 23:18, 8 March 2007 (GMT) Now i'm pissed. Never attack a ninja. I assumed i would get all those "disarmed" weapons back when i killed the bastard. I lost my Air Sword, Phaser, and Furious Bow!!! I may have got a catana from him, but that's no trade at all!!!

--AmishRobots 07:54, 16 November 2006 (GMT) what i've been doing lately:

You attack the Cute Seal.
You cause 20 points of damage, and receive 20 experience.
You slay the Cute Seal.
You gain a Badge.
You gain a Barbelith Talisman.
You gain a Seal Pelt.
You gain 265 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Glass Sword.
You gain 3 Spikey Ninja Throwing Stars.You go West. You attack the Cute Seal.
You cause 20 points of damage, and receive 20 experience.
You slay the Cute Seal.
You gain a Seal Pelt.
You gain a Water Talisman.
You gain 47 Gold Pieces.You go West. You attack the Cute Seal.
You cause 20 points of damage, and receive 20 experience.
You slay the Cute Seal.
You gain a Seal Pelt.
You gain 46 Gold Pieces.
You gain a D20.You go West. You attack the Cute Seal.
You cause 20 points of damage, and receive 20 experience.
You slay the Cute Seal.
You gain a Seal Pelt.
You gain 32 Gold Pieces.
You gain 2 Spikey Ninja Throwing Stars.You go West. You go West. You attack the Cute Seal.
You cause 20 points of damage, and receive 20 experience.
You slay the Cute Seal.
You gain a Seal Pelt.
You gain 52 Gold Pieces.
You feel like you've been naughty.

--AmishRobots 10:10, 10 September 2006 (BST) DAMNABLE CROCODILE!!! So i'd just begun my quest of the standing stones when I was killed yesterday, by A Crocodile of all things! And not only that, he hath apparently nicked all my stuff! I was sure my insurance policy was up to date, but alas, those bastards let me down! After my recovery at the temple of air, I found myself destitute, with nothing save those few items the fiend could not deprive me of. That is, my soul, a skin of water, Tarot deck (thank elsewhere i still have that at least) a box of matches, and BEHOLD! The Power Of The Snark!!!

Indeed I had laughed at the thought of such a pitiful creature, And no idea why i held onto it till now, except perhaps my own stubborness, and perhaps a need for companionship on thos long lonely nights.

Well, being in this most piteous position, as I pondered my fate, I came upon a plan. My corpse was lost to me, with all its great many belongings; the hard won trophies of many a noble adventure, stranded in the belly of a great witless crocodile in the northwestern reaches of that dangerous, monster-infested terrain between the great mountain ranges. And the plan that sprang forth in my murderous mind was this: Go And Get It BACK!!! I had this "snark" didn't I? Surely not the ideal weapon; but perhaps, if i could sneak through that hellish territory, avoiding its more dangerous monsters as much as possible, well, maybe my mighty sack of snarkish-ness would be just enough to recover myself from that dumb water beast!

Of course my first thought was to break tali immediately for water city, it being closest to the region of my demise; but how stupid of me; i had no talisman! nor even money to by one with! I would be forced to go it on foot, sore feet at that, with no magic boots to speed my journey! The vengeance! thought I, that i would wreak upon the family of crocodile-dom when I had but recovered my weapons!

I immediately sped north at a rapid CRAWL, hoping to enter the dangerous realm of monsters at the nearest pass through the mountains. I had not gone far though, when i happened upon an ancient ruin, and an idea leapt into my mind. "Wait! thought I, what if there might be some talisman amongst these ruins, that could speed me on my way?" Eager as I was to recover my corpse before some miscreant nicked it, and certainly not wanting to trust my horde of precious belongings to said miscreant, I partook of a frantic search of the ruins, in the desperate hope of chancing upon such a talisman. Alas, however, and what-not besides, there was no such talisman to be found. I did however, and by-the-way while I'm at it, happen to find several magic beans, a bottle of wine and a mincer. And also a six-sided die, which i figure will be quite useful if i ever feel the desperate urge to play craps in some dirty alley.

Not much help I thought, but shortly thereafter I came upon a wizard's tower, where a slightly shady looking character in tattered robes, and a hat that said "WIZZARD" (sic) agreed to pay me some money for my beans. Well, at least I'll have some money I thought, and perhaps i can buy that talisman at the next market place. So, agreeing to his terms i walked away from the wizard's tower 300 gold pieces richer, and bereft of any magic beans whatsoever.

My small amount of money was better than nothing of course, but it was hardly the ticket to corpse-theiving-crocodile central which i was looking for. And while i figured certainly I might find a good deal on water talismans at the market, i also might not, and by the time i was done getting to the market, and then coming all the way back from water city , i may very well just have walked there anyway. So, off I plunged, back into the wilds, northwards around the grey mountains hoping to make the entrance closest to my demise; for by this time, being a bit more clear-headed, it had occurred to me that i might make better time outside the mountains, where there were far less dangerous creatures to block my path, especially in this currently weakened state of mine.

Still, I found myself having to detour often around such fearsome creatures as a Lions, Tigers, and Bears (oh my!) and even the occasional bull. Not only that, but as I pushed further north, I began to encounter patches of Lava! On a few rare occasions though, I did stand and fight, battling fierce creatures with my pitiful snark, (whose bag I truly need to clean soon) and in the process gained a few precious pieces of gold and a single clean bandage while i was at it. Indeed, I even came across the dreadful "Knights Who Say 'Ni'" and killed them with naught but a word!

As to the rumour of my going entirely too far north and having to circle back again, well, of course my loyal friends know the infallibility of my navigation, and will in due time stop repeating such obvious lies!

I am, at the moment resting at the gaurd tower, location: 22e 83n And, as soon as I am able to walk again, hell-bent for crocodile town!

This has been your intrepid duke,

Duke AmishRobots,

Who is Absolutely NOT Lost!

AmishRobots 11:49, 20 July 2006 (BST)it has quite a while since i've made an entry to my journal. I have been far too busy adventuring in the land of four cities to pause between valiant deeds long enough to write about them. Firstly, I made a surprise visit to the land of Limbo, where, after a short pause, I discovered a portal back to our own realm.

Also, I should mention that I have healed many weary adventurers, eventually gaining a degree in medicine. In fact, they were so impressed with my work in the fields of euthanasia, amputation and leech application that i was granted a special bottle of sparkling wine! The professors at the grand old school of medicine were most grateful for my efforts, even insisting that i celebrate by "drinking the entire bottle before i treated another patient".

After achieving my esteemed status as doctor, i headed out to worship at several shrines within the realm. Frankly I suspect the advocates of these "elemental" religions to be a bit dippy, but i must admit that whatever those mushrooms were that i ate at the night shrine, i certainly have been seeing the world a bit differently.

and then there was that adventure in the crystal caves, well, i must admit i was a bit tipsy upon entering. Really i don't want to think about that night, with all those drunken priests. I'll just say that their idea of "initiation" was a bit unnerving; and though I don't remember exactly what went on in their little cave i do know that I was unable to sit properly for a week afterwards. Those earth priests kind of creep me out with their unnatural fascination for deep dark holes.

Finally, i'd like to mention that today i am quite angry. After creatively acquiring a fine wizard's hat, i found it to be stolen from me, by the very same person i had recieved it from! What's more he apparently became invisible in order to do so as i caught no sight of him to retrieve it, the sneaky little hat thief! I even tried summoning the fellow to talk over the matter peacefully, but to no avail. Perhaps i chanted his name wrong, i was quite sure his name was cornmaster, but alas, he did not appear.

AmishRobots 08:27, 16 April 2006 (BST)(note to self)start a student doctor's league; aspiring doctors "practice" medicine gratis at several locations to advance their study.

AmishRobots 12:32, 19 March 2006 (GMT)what the smeg happened to my pics? they've stopped showing and now i've got links to file description where it says they may have malicious code! grrr! oh well.

--AmishRobots 12:31, 7 Feb 2006 (GMT)ah, well, it has been some time since i've visited these pages. I have apparently avoided the malaria plague which fellow adventurers have spoken of. At least i never noticed any sign of any illness in myself; other than a couple of inconvenient bouts of death. These 2 unfortunate instances of fatality in my case, had nothing to do with malaria or those horrid creatures (mosquitos) to which the disease is attributed. Rather, both my deaths, were (if i remember correctly) strictly cow related. Therein of course, lies my greatest passion. the destruction of cows! Those loathsome creatures which defile my journey, taunting me at every turn! Perhaps I should explain:

Having been recently initiated of Air, and, seeking a new quest to fill my days, procured a creature list from the temple, I set off to the east of Windy City on my mission to explore new worlds and new civilizations, to boldly... ahem, to boldly, ah find new creatures for my list, yes. In this case, I decided to boldly head east, towards earth city, where I may see exotic species (perhaps even the rare "green-skinned-tart"?) on the road there-to. And besides they had quite a nice casino in earth city, which i hadn't had time (nor money) to properly investigate when last i was there.

Somewhere along the way, I picked up a bullwhip, and soon enough, encountered a cow. A brief glance at my list told me this animal was not included for survey, but, still, I found myself fascinated by this creature. Or, rather, it's possibilities regarding my new bullwhip. I had already used the weapon on a few small woodland creatures here and there, and while quite pleased with the results thus far, I was eager to see its effects on the creature for which is was named. Now I know of course the difference between bulls and cows, but I figured it being only a matter of gender, that "what's good for the goose, is good for the gander" So of course I let fly with my new favourite weapon. And what did that sneaky cow do but snatch it away from me? I was furious! At the time it was the only weapon I had, so I found no recourse but to pummel the beast with my fists, all the while screaming "GIVE ME BACK MY WHIP YOU BRUTE!!!" Well, it wasn't long before the bastardly thing grew tired of my flurry of punches to its flank, and with a disgusted "MOOOOOO!" knocked me over, and trampled me to death.

I awoke in Windy City. At the shrine. By now of course, I was furious. Having no weapons nor gold to lose, i determined that I would wreak vengeance upon the creature responsible for my demise, and furthermore, retrieve my whip! So again I set out to the east, this time with one thought alone in mind; "KILL THE BEAST!" I went straightaway in search of that demon cow, ignoring all else in my pursuit. Indeed I found it too, just off the road where I had left it. I do believe it even recognised me, snorting in contempt as I approached, waving its evil tail in my direction, as if to swat a fly, saying in effect "come again have you? you're like a pest at my hindquarters!" And then of course, it killed me again.

Laying in the shrine recovering, I made up my mind that I would forget the creature. I was too great a hero to let a petty thing like my own death absorb my thoughts. Even if it happened twice. So what? thought I. Its not as if I lost anything this time, I had nothing to lose after all. I have better things to do. Like this creature survey. Of which cows have no part. So I headed east, a third time. Searching only for the creatures on my list, a few of which I also killed for sport. It was one of these creatures (a worm or some such I think) which brought back my lust for revenge. Upon dying, the feeble thing with its last breath, reached out and handed me something. It was a glass sword! The mythical weapon which is said to destroy nearly any creature that stands against it. Although it's said to shatter upon use, I thought, Yes! the perfect weapon! Many would say that I should have saved it for some more noble, fiersome creature, a dragon or such perhaps. But I could think of nothing else as I held the blade in my hands, but only "I must destroy the cow!" Immediately I rushed back to where I thought I had seen it, and sure enough, there, just off the road, was the monster I sought. It Mooooed in terror as I held aloft my gleaming blade. And sank, bleeding to the grass as I plunged it deep into its throat, screaming my triumph for all to hear! "And now you bastard! I shall reclaim my bullwhip!!!!" I cried, as the blade shattered in the behemoth's cold, milky heart. Panting heavily with triumph, my joyous eyes cast about for my stolen weapon. But soon my rapture turned to agony once more, the bullwhip was nowhere to be found! "By all that is unholy in this foul barnyard of doom!" thought I, "I've killed the wrong freaking cow!!!!" Sadly, in quite a wretched state indeed I slunk away from the scene of the slaughter, chewing bitterly on my new beefsteak. And as I tromped morosely down the road in defeat, what should I see? but a thousand more cows every step of the way, all staring at me, with that blank, hideous gaze of theirs, accusing, and yet taunting at the same time! They were every where I looked, practically lining the roadside as I lurched soberly down it in defeat, again towards the Earthen City.

--AmishRobots 01:58, 20 Jan 2006 (GMT) So much has happened since my last journal entry! Where to begin? Where I left off I suppose:

Apparently the rain has stopped, and it seems we will have no more for a while. Other Adventurers I've met speak of a plague they call malaria, apparently spread by Mosquitos. I have seen these beast, but so far I have not been able to fight them, nor do I notice in myself any syptoms of sickness. I am still healthy, thank Elsware!

The morning after my last entry I left the Monastry. Although they certainly healed my wounds, and gave me a gift, I felt that a few of the monks were, well, the way they were touching me in places I'd rather not describe, (like the chapel, and the garden) I fear the monks have been alone in that monastery a bit too long! Suffice it to say, that I do not wish to return there any time soon!

Any way, I left as I said, and headed west towards the road, hoping to find it clear again, or at least some passage north, free of the impassable mud. Along the way I killed many small beasts, and gained some treasure to show for it. I'd gotten as far as the Thieve's Forest when I began to seriously doubt my earlier sense of direction. So, I decided to head east, out of curiosity. Not that I was lost mind you, I just thought a nice walk might be relaxing.

Upon finding the road, I headed immediately north, in all haste to reach Fire City before nap time. Of course I saw many wondrous things along the way, but did not have time to examine any of them very closely.

Finally! I had reached Fire City! My first desire here was to procure a weapon of some sort, so I visited the wizard's shop, the alchemist, and even the cafe in order to turn my treasures into gold, with which I could purchase one. Not much to tell, though i should mention that the alchemist was quite rude when I asked him to transmutate one of my gold coins, just out of curiosity.

As I said my first instinct was to get a weapon, I'd been using my trusty "a fists" to pummel fireflies and toads for too long. However, after checking prices at a few shops, and a quick glance at current taxicab rates, I decided it might be more economical (not to mention quicker) just to hail a cab. And, I reasoned, since I would be avoiding any conflict with monsters along the way, I wouldn't really need a weapon for the time being in any case. I had managed to gain a short bow from some creature I had fought along the way after all, and though I had it turned into gold (it was useless without arrows) I was sure I might even find another weapon under similar circumstances.

So, with my 1006 gold pieces I set off for Water City. I found the place to be a bit boring really, So after a short walk, I left again, taking a cab to Earth City, which I found to be much more exciting, although I couldn't stay long. Finally, after having seen the sights, I was home. I headed straight to the Air Temple, where the Priestess generously completed my initiation, and ceremoniously bestowed upon me a Wand of Illusion. I made sure not to break any wind in the temple.

Having been Initiated, I felt a new quest would be refreshing, so while I was there, I grabbed a copy of the Creature Survey List, and headed north again. Not sure why I went north, I'd certainly wanted to go back to Earth City and visit their casino, but for whatever reason, I am now back on the road to Fire City.

--Amishrobots 11:58, 16 Jan 2006 (GMT) Altogether, this has been a good day. though i've not recovered enough yet to leave, i did decide to try my hand at a bit of hunting before i retired for the night, and glad i did! the first two beasts i heroicly slayed (a toad and some other such i believe) gained me some 27 and 2 pieces gold, respectively. but the real prize came when, after giving up on the worm (detestable things!) i turned my attentions to the firefly (a favourite of mine to kill) just south of my position at the monastry. He'd been carrying a device known as a Palantir-as-you-go! though, i've no idea how to use it yet, i've heard that these items allow you to actually talk to other people. when i awaken (i collapsed after the battle) i shall endeavour to examine it more carefully.

--Amishrobots 11:42, 16 Jan 2006 (GMT): using a tattered old copy of "ye Darke Satanic Survey Map", i set off from windy city about 2 days ago, hoping to reach fire city to the north. im now stuck at a "monastry" a bit north of Windy City. Surrounded by worms, fireflies, and an angry toad. nearly surrounded by mud.

on reflection it seems i picked a rather bad time to travel. Of course, I knew when I left, that i wasn't quite ready for this, having only "a fists" to fight with, and precious little gold, or any other supplies to mention. But I was impatient. I'd been stirring around the vicinity of windy city for two or three days then. Having broken my old rusty sword on a worm or some such creature, disgruntled with the high price of buying a new one and finding not much else to do in the city, decided it best i leave, ready or not, before i grow any more discouraged and quit my life altogether.

So, after stealing another bright red party hat from some hapless fellow nearby , i used what little strength i had left to stumble over to tarbucks where i spent nearly all of my pitiful small gold pile on a mug of their finest brew-- coffee that is; and then set off with fresh vigour (and not much else, save my soul) to conquer the road to fire city.

Almost immediately i was in trouble. Certainly I had heard some reports of flooding, and of course the rain pouring on my head should have been warning enough; but I'd figured so long as i stuck to the road and didnt pick any fights i might even make it fire city before my caffeine buzz wore off. It never even occurred to me to doubt my faith in The Road. i mean, sure its been raining a lot, but of course the road would be clear; it is "The Road" after all?

i'd barely left town it seemed, when i found the road cut off by water. Well, no matter, thought i, the way through these hills is clear, and no monsters in sight. I'll just go around. Besides, i'd paid all my money for that mug of coffee, i certainly wasn't going back empty handed, just on account of some water. Well, sure enough, i found my way back to the road easily enough, only to be thwarted again a few paces hence. "well" i thought, "it worked the last time, and i can surely handle a few more worms or whatever with the "a fists" needless to say, before i knew it, i'd lost all clue as to where the road lay, my caffeine buzz was fading fast and to add even further aggravation, i found that i was also nearly dead! Luckily, I then remembered the firecrackers. I'd hidden them away in my bag for safekeeping, not really sure at the time what they did when i'd bought them. Well, finding myself surrounded by hideous blood-thirsty monsters (ok, they were ducks--but still!) I figured now was as good a time as any to find out. I lit the fuse, and Poof! the way was clear. Clear to what, I wasn't sure; but anything must be better than this! so, with cowardice as my compass, i fled (west?), when what to my wondering eyes should appear? but a monastry! with naught but a sparrow (my sign: air) gaurding the way!

I'd heard of these places- a safe haven for weary travellers to rest and be healed. i dragged myself up to the gates, where the monks hauled me inside to safety, and immediately put me in debt: -299AP. that was 2 or 3 days ago, the monks have let me repay the debt by tending their garden, and even given me a measure of serenity for my troubles. For the time being, i am content to stay here, and rest a day or two more. perhaps the mud will dry and i may have some hope of finding the road when it does. but until then, Father Pedro (i think that was his name) has been quite kind and has some nice magazines he'd like to show me.


As mentioned, I just started my new life here, updates as i progress of course. for now though:

if you stumble across amishrobots and are feeling charitable: I need a weapon! anything! right now I'm pretty well stuck with beating up the occasional Duck or Worm with "a fists" I haven't got much to trade unless you're a big fan of feathers and magic beans, all I'm looking for here is a rusty sword or something to aid me in my first quest. I plan to visit the 4 cities so i can be all "air initiated" and stuff. right now im working with about 100 ap per day though. and some bastard just stole my party hat. lol.

--Amishrobots 00:14, 13 Jan 2006 (GMT):

as of today, I just started Cities two days ago. This is the first MUD i've ever played, and really the first time I've ever even heard of a MUD. Pardon my ignorance.

Also, this is the first wiki I've ever done. Until recently I was unaware of the existence of wikis outside of Wikipedia. Apologies if I sqrew your formatting, just let me know.

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