User:Rembrandt

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Who am I ?

  • Alignment: Fire
  • Maximum Hit Points: 1173
  • Base to-hit chance: 100%
  • Maximum Action Points: 466
  • Base AP Delay: 8 minutes.
  • Experience Points: 9274012
  • Damage Multiplier: 7
  • Starsign: Penguin
  • HP Healed: 2285
  • Total Action Points Spent: 96514
  • Total Distance Travelled: 19324
  • Gold Pieces: 492248
  • Number of Times Died: 6
  • Dragon's Blood Drunk: 26 (+4)
  • Mugs of Coffee Drunk: 132


  • Last Updated - Rembrandt 15:58, 28 Sept 2017 (GMT-5) : AP 163596/606

Some dope that lives in the USA, after living in Nottingham shire (Lenton actually) for almost two years. He moved back to Maryland for love, and now he has a kid as a result .. sucker.

He used to work for Games-Workshop, and started their current Japanese branch. He then worked for a US Cable Internet Company, then a US cable company, a global tool manufacturer, and now he runs an IT department for an IP company. [IT for IP, say THAT five times fast.] www.invequity.com.

He sometimes misses the pace of Britian, the mates he had there, and just the total difference that there was from the compleatly uptight way us Americans live. Given the choice, he would move back there, when his son is old enough to attend school.

Meh.

Ramblings of a Twisted Twit

Sep 28 2017 12:55 GMT-5
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ZzzZzzZZZ ... What? What time is it? How long have I been asleep?
Klaatu Barada Necktie? What?!
AP : 163808/606

Dec 02 2007 18:00 GMT-5
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Why could it not at LEAST be someone different than who bought all my knives last time :P

You just sold 24 Air Knifes for 36000 Gold (minus our 24 commission). Come to any market office to claim it.
You just sold 35 Earth Knifes for 45500 Gold (minus our 35 commission). Come to any market office to claim it.
You just sold 4 Fire Knifes for 6000 Gold (minus our 4 commission). Come to any market office to claim it.
You just sold 31 Water Knifes for 46500 Gold (minus our 31 commission). Come to any market office to claim it.
You are at the cutting-edge of fashion.


Dec 05 2007 13:15 GMT-5
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Bling Wraith Hunting can be a profitable business ! Maybe I should give up on my Hydra Killing mission and stick to bling wraiths :P

Bling Bling x 2
Bling of Fire x 2
Diamond Bling
Emerald Bling
Feathered Bling
Ghastly Bling x 3
Gold Bling x 4
Healing Bling x 7
Horizontal Bling
Iron Bling x 7
Major Healing Bling x 4
Moon Stone Bling
Onyx Bling
The One Bling x 4


Dec 04 2007 14:55 GMT-5
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Totally worth the trade off :) The Gods of Random Numbers gave me good love today, thats three Gold Blings today !

You attack the Bling Wraith.
You cause 66 points of damage, and receive 330 experience.
The sword slurps up the life blood...
You lose a Daemonic Sword.
The sword melts.
You slay the Bling Wraith.
You gain a Gold Bling.



Oct 25 2007 14:55 GMT-5
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You make the connection!
You lose a 3 Iron.
Ancient forces increase your strength. (+5 max AP)
You have connected all 24 totems! You've earned 30 seconds apdelay. Go you!

Finally :)

Sep 27 2007 12:05 GMT-5
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Great Lord Yendor's image appears, festooned with vines and garlands and carrying a huge basket of fruit.
"Thank you for your excellent performance at my Harvest Festival! Let's hope for just as good a crop of Magic Beans next   
year. As you're a music lover I'd like to teach you this country dance tune, played by the hard working farmers of the 
Inner Region at planting time. It's a lovely old song, and perhaps there's some magic in it too."
The tune is difficult, but you manage to keep up.
While he plays you help yourself to a few of his special biscuits. You're also quick enough to grab a handful of fruit 
while he's not looking.
You gain 10 Magic Cookies.
You gain 2 Baskets of Plums.
You gain 2 Bunches of Grapes.
You gain 2 Lemons.
You gain 2 Limes.
You gain 2 Oranges.
You gain 2 Pineapples.
You gain 2 Pomegranates.

Heh, its really not my day .. I just spent 20 buying fruit for the totems quest. Sheesh.


Sep 27 2007 10:35 GMT-5
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Thats two gold blings gone in the last three days :( Talisman making just got a lot more expensive :( *sigh* I guess I'll have to go bling farming soon .. at least I can make them into mana now.


Sep 16 2007 21:40 GMT-5
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Lets get this party started .. what ? Lets get this party started .. quickly!

You lose a Rig.
oh, yes...
You gain a Screen (Get a Job !).
Now using Fists.



Sep 13 2007 10:55 GMT-5
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Well CRAP ! one late night, and one bad alarm clock means I have to start all over again. *sigh* I have also decided that maybe its time for me to host a party. I have the records, and there is no party following the current one. [I could also use the kudos, damn those peeves are hungry.] I was originally going to hold out until Aug. when we go to Jamaica for ten days. I was thinking of having one on Holiday Island. How fitting. But I'm thinking I can come up with 10 more records between now and then, and have BOTH !.


Sep 12 2007 23:55 GMT-5
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Damn baby hippies, who let these kids get started with the cigarettes ??!


Sep 6 2007 19:00 GMT-5
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You lose a Solid Gold Fiddle.
"O frabjous day! I'm ever so grateful, the boss gets terribly angry when I lose one of these."
The devil grins and starts playing, with fire flying from its fingertips. After a few moments you pick up the tune and join in.
"You haven't got a spare Soul, by any chance? Hmm, suppose it wouldn't be fair after what you've done for me."



Sep 6 2007 12:05 GMT-5
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You lose 50000 Bits of Gold.
You lose 5 Gold Runes.
You gain a Solid Gold Fiddle.
A spell wore off.
You lose 50000 Bits of Gold.
You lose 5 Gold Runes.
You gain a Solid Gold Fiddle.
A spell wore off.
You lose 50000 Bits of Gold.
You lose 5 Gold Runes.
You gain a Solid Gold Fiddle.

Expensive, but whats money compared to art ??!


Sep 5 2007 22:46 GMT-5
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A treasure hunting I go! Tonight I will dig up a whole bunch of treasure chests and see what I get.

Brown Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain an Enchant Air Sword Spell.
You gain 21000 Gold Pieces.
You gain an Emerald Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Olive Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain a Copy of 'Love at First Sight'.
You gain a Return to Oz.
You gain a Copy of To Sail Beyond the Sunset.
You gain 9000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Sun Stone Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Maroon Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain 19000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Gold Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Silver Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain a Pair of Beer Goggles.
You gain 31 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Copy of 'Where Is My Man'.
You gain 3000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Healing Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Green Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain a Space Rocket.
You gain a Copy of Methuselah's Children.
You gain a Copy of 'Relax'.
You gain a Daily Mail.
You gain a Ruby Slipper.
You gain 9000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Vertical Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Lime Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain a Short Sword.
You gain a Copy of 'Mamma Mia'.
You gain 63 Gold Pieces.
You gain 8000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Horizontal Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Ivory Beard's Treasure was located inside the death mountains
Navy Beard's Treasure was located *ON* a death mountain
Turquoise Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain a Vitality Spell.
You gain 11 Arrows.
You gain an Enchant Air Sword Spell.
You gain 17000 Gold Pieces.
You gain an Opal Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Chartreuse Beard's Treasure
You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain an Air Knife.
You gain a Copy of 'Over the Rainbow'.
You gain a Glowing Night Stick.
You gain 28 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Sharp Sword.
You gain 19000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Mercury Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.

I guess with a gold and a healing bling, it was worth the trouble. I still have 8 more maps left too!

Sep 4 2007 17:55 GMT-5
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After using up three more measures of serenity to blow through the Bomb Squad yesterday, I decided to recharge at the party. I was going to port back to OZ to do more totems when my AP was full, but dreaded making another rune. Then I thought about gold blings, and the fact that I had 20 mysterious envelopes. I went on a treasure hunt instead, and dug up one chest in the frozen north. (No frostbite this time) Didn't get a Gold Bling, but Misril is nothing to shrug off either. I have 19 more chances :)

You open the chest...
You lose a Treasure Chest.
You gain an Air Bow.
You gain 20000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Misril Bling.
You gain a Bottle of Rum.
Now using Fists.



Sep 1 2007 23:55 GMT-5
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You lose a Giant Snowball.
Ancient forces increase your strength. (+5 max AP)
You've got really nasty frostbite. -4 hp
You have 15 minutes to connect with the Earth Dragon Totem.
Glowing Earth Dragon Totem: To create a connection you need a Daemonic Knife.
You make the connection!
Your fingers are black. You really need to get somewhere warm.
You lose a Daemonic Knife.
Ancient forces increase your strength. (+5 max AP)



Aug 31 2007 23:45 GMT-5
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Adventures in the great white north. I used a stone to go to the normal realms, walked north across the great planes, and into the frozen north, then summoned back to oz.

Things learned on the trip
Snakes, no matter how friendly you are, do not like to be petted .. ever.
A poision level of five sucks about once an hour
If your tribble skin coat wears out on top of a Tarn, move to lower ground before making a new one.
especially if you need to skin the tribbles
and make a needle
The worst level of frostbite can be gained instantly by spending over 150 AP on a tarn when not wearing enough clothes.
You can survive a LONG time losing 4hp a turn if you did 35 levels of hard knocks.
You are not TOLD you can make a giant snowball, you just get one. So you might not need to actually GO to the North Pole.
If you upgrade the north pole, it might use five golden runes you had made for a golden fiddle.
Which will leave you with only four pieces of enchanted wood
No matter how many giant snowballs you make, using three measures of serenity in one night makes you wonder why you did it
PotatoEngineer is a nice guy

To be fair, I knocked all the snakes and the ROUS off military service, got promoted, and only have 19 left for the next promotion. I picked up the north pole, and got the giant snowball I needed for Totems. If I didn't need to do all those things on the way, I would most certainly have hit the markets first.


Aug 29 2007 12:31 GMT-5
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You have 15 minutes to connect with the Sylph Totem.
Glowing Sylph Totem: To create a connection you need a Giant Snowball.

URG .. that sucks!


Aug 29 2007 1:42 GMT-5
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I figured while I was here, and since the head hunter didn't trap me (and there is a part on) I'll try to do as much of the totems as I can.

You have 15 minutes to connect with the Toad Totem.
You make the connection!
You lose a Coconut.
Ancient forces increase your strength. (+5 max AP)
You have 15 minutes to connect with the Bull Totem.
Glowing Bull Totem: To create a connection you need an Issue.
You make the connection!
You lose an Issue.
Ancient forces increase your strength. (+5 max AP)
You have 15 minutes to connect with the Sylph Totem.

And thats where I ran out of enough movement points to get there.


Aug 24 2007 21:45 GMT-5
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Thats a lot of golf clubs wasted. Thankfully I don't need to kill more than one of these:

You attack the 1 Vorder Man.
You cause 1 points of damage, and receive 15 experience.
Your Putter (12 50%) has worn out.
You lose a Putter.
You slay the 0 Vorder Man.
You add the trophy to your case!
You gain a Cruel Blade.
You gain 41 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Contract Palantir.
You gain 4 Consonants.
You gain a Vowel.



Aug 23 2007 11:06 GMT-5
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After drinking nine cups of coffee, and a lot of machete work, I made my way through the interior to the mountain pass. I might have to save up some AP and knit a jumper so I do not have to wear my ear muffs as they are my last pair. I managed to bag a Morphius, but am not sure I have enough golf clubs to take down even the smallest vorderman I have seen. I started keeping track of my coffee intake today, 400 cups is SOOOO far away, might have to use a clinic invite a few times between now and then. I will definitely go after a head hunter last. That way I can at least save on the travel time back to the mainland if he puts me in the pot. Got a Tripod too. Debating on if I REALLY want to climb this mountain.


Aug 22 2007 23:03 GMT-5
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You read the inscription. It tells of 24 mighty magical totems built by some great race or something... blah blah blah. 
The important bit seems to be that each totem is connected to another and those who follow and enforce the connections can gain great power!
You have 15 minutes to connect with the GNU Totem.
Glowing GNU Totem: To create a connection you need a 5 Iron.
You make the connection!
You lose a 5 Iron.
Ancient forces increase your strength. (+5 max AP)
You have 15 minutes to connect with the Toad Totem.
Glowing Toad Totem: To create a connection you need a Coconut.

Well Crap.


Aug 19 2007 23:32 GMT-5
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Impressive loot, if your a mage :(

You attack the Duck-Billed Venemous Eye.
You cause 72 points of damage, and receive 1080 experience.
The sword slurps up the life blood...
You lose a Daemonic Sword.
You gain a Daemonic Great Sword.
http://cities.totl.net/venemous_eye.mp3
You slay the Duck-Billed Venemous Eye.
You add the trophy to your case!
You gain 2 Wellbeing Spells.
You gain 2 Align All to Air Spells.
You gain 4 Sheets of Paper.
You gain 310 Gold Pieces.
You gain 2 Killing Blow Spells.
You gain 2 Hop West Spells.
You gain 2 Enchant Mud Spells.
You gain 2 Spatulas.
You gain 4 Slings.
You gain 2 Hoes ov Destruction.
You gain 25 Arrows.
You gain 2 Clean Bandages.



Aug 18 2007 23:00 GMT-5
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Managed to get rid of all of the frozen north creatures without freezing to death. Before heading back to OZ I figured I would get the first level of military service. Of course I didn't have enough AP to get the first level AND make it to the plane, so I drank me some coffee :

You lose a Mug of Coffee.
You gain an Empty Mug.
You feel a bit better. Damn caffeine tolerance.
100 cups of coffee. You enter a state of perfect caffination.
Welcome aboard soldier!



Aug 17 2007 17:24 GMT-5
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Figured while I was up in the great frozen north, that I would get what I needed for military service. I think I might mark a talisman up here too for later, since I think I'll have to come back eventually for other quests. Its friggen COLD up here though :P Only six more trophies and I can get back to OZ. [After another long flight]


Aug 15 2007 22:16 GMT-5
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I flew all the way to oz, got stuck in the astral plane, and popped out in the frozen north. Thankfully I had me some tribbles.


Aug 13 2007 22:20 GMT-5
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Now I can go to OZ in style!

You study the plans.
You lose a Power Crystal.
You lose 30 Pieces of Ancient Wood.
You lose 15 Tars.
You lose 20 Copper Nails.
You lose a Bottle of Sparkling Wine.
You lose an Empty Bottle.
You gain a Speedboat (in a bottle).



Aug 11 2007 23:49 GMT-5
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Nothing like having a phaser break 3 uses in a row. The 'random' break routines at work I guess :P


Aug 10 2007 23:20 GMT-5
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Back from holiday. 12 Measures of serenity and counting, someday I will cash these things in, probably when I do totems. Decided to go make myself two golems in the arena today, would expect folks might want to leave them alone, I've been bleeding myself for a month in preparation .. and added every fire knife I have found since I started playing, in addition to whatever the market had below 2000 GP. I gathered another handful of Issues as well.


Aug 3 2007 15:15 GMT-5
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I spent last night at Sy and Tzia's party, amazing what a little chilling out can do to the AP score. I figured I might hit the mall and sort out some issues before I hit the monastery. Might even hit the party again if there is time.

You lose a Dragon Blood.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Mug of Coffee.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Red Seed Pod.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Bunch of Small Yellow Leaves.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Yellow Fleshy Root.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Small Blue-black Berry.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Bunch of Pale Hairy Leaves.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Pint of Blood.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Mug of Coffee.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Dragon Blood.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Bunch of Pale Hairy Leaves.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Dragon Blood.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Red Seed Pod.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Mug of Coffee.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Small Blue-black Berry.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Dragon Blood.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Mug of Coffee.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Red Seed Pod.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Mug of Coffee.
You gain a Tribble.

At least I know the little bastards eat both blood and dragon's blood now. [Better for them to drink it than for me to do so.]



Aug 2 2007 14:19 GMT-5
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THIS is why riding the elevator is bad for me. Someday I will learn to quit while I am ahead.

You lose a Dragon Blood.
You feel stronger.
You lose a Dragon Blood.
You feel stronger.
You lose a Dragon Blood.
You feel really demotivated.
You lose a Dragon Blood.
You feel so very weak.



Aug 2 2007 12:32 GMT-5
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There is no way I will be able to get another 30 crystals and still get to a monastery before we go on holiday. Back to the space elevator I go. Before leaving I figured I would buy 20 tribbles, and put all my food into a bag. Herbs didn't fit of course, but I only have 3 or 4 of them, and I don't feel like doing that quest right now anyways.

You lose a Piece of Bark.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Handful of Papery Flowers.
You gain a Tribble.
You lose a Mug of Coffee.
You gain a Tribble.



Aug 1 2007 23:13 GMT-5
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
I'm hanging out in space. I had to come up here for Military Service, so I figured I would buy a phaser and stock up on crystals. My goal is 100, which I hope is enough to keep me in phaser repairs, and speed boat repairs for a while, at least long enough to restock my can-o-worm supplies. I saw a road runner on the space station, was a little surprised.

You attack the Space Invader.
You cause 50 points of damage, and receive 500 experience.
You slay the Space Invader.
You gain an Annoyance.

And just to check it off the list

You purchase a Phaser for 20000 Gold.
You lose 20000 Gold Pieces.
You gain a Phaser.

Crystal count is at 70 Power Crystals </td>

 </td>

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

What I'm Working On

Go back to the tunnels for more timewarps,
Get the military service stuff from the tunnels
Thinking of killing a 40+ head hydra, if I can find one

Whats Next

get more issues for my peeve,
Rest up and do more treasure chests,
Get rid of some of the ticks left in my trophy cabinet,
Go back to OZ and do more Totems

Quests in Progress

Knight Quests
  • Military Service
Desert
  • Djinn (Invisible)
Ocean
  • Whale
Kansas or Harvey Farm
  • Chicken
Festival
  • Hippy
  • Stoner
Ignatz's
  • Booze Hound
Tunnels
  • Adolescent Tortoise (NE)
  • Diagona (NE)
  • Goth (SW)
  • Minotaur (SW)
Other
  • Kangeroo (Currently Unknown)
  • Polychromatic Dragon (Created Anywhere)
  • Shrieking Harpy (Created Anywhere)
  • Shrimp (Alternate Ocean)
  • One of the damn snakes I missed

Other Quests
  • Ghost Hunters Guild
Drop off the full traps

Quests Completed

Earth Quests
  • Initiation / Getting Drunk
  • School of Hard Knocks X 35
Fire Quests
  • Getting Knighted
  • Initiation
  • The Duel
  • The Gauntlet
  • Befriending the Guards
Water Quests
  • Learning to Swim
  • Initiation / First Aid
  • Snark Hunt
  • Killing the Undead Dragon
  • Becoming a Doctor
  • On Call
  • Water Skin
Air Quests
  • Initiation / Visiting 4 Cities
  • Creature Survey
  • Standing Stones
  • Time and Space
  • Fortune Tellers
Knight Quests
  • Getting Knighted
  • Becoming a Baron
  • Becoming an Earl
  • Becoming a Duke
Other Quests
  • Collecting Cards
  • Jack and the Beanstalk

</td> </tr>

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