User:Sertularian/Quests/Poison Hand

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Here's my account of my completion of the Poison Hand Quest.

Contents

Oh Look! A Book!

A mysterious voice seemed to speak to me through the ether...
(...-net cable that attaches my computer to the Internet):

'There's a new quest. It begins at a location in one of 
the four cities.' - sounds like Great Lord Yendor.

At the Park Bench in Windy City, I discovered...

There's a book here that someone must have left behind. [Take (1 AP)]

I had to pick it up, of course.

You gain an Oriental Book. 

Pretty.

Oriental Book: Handwritten in an exotic looking language. [Read (24 AP)]

Taking it to the Memorial Library and putting on my Pair Of Reading Glasses helped with the AP cost.

Unfortunately it's written in foreign. All you can make sense of are the illustrations, 
which mostly depict little bald wrinkly smiling figures in robes.

Off to find some little bald wrinkly smiling figures in robes, then. Perhaps one might find them in... a Monastry? (sic)

Places with Little Bald Wrinkly Smiling Figures in Robes

I opted to start at St. Matthews, and see if anyone could read this thing.

St. Matthews:  The Monks of the monastary will allow you to stay and recover your 
strength, in return you must work in their fields.

These monks are dressed in similar robes to the drawings in that book you found. 
Perhaps one of them can understand the writing? [Show Book (10 AP)]

I showed them the book!

The monks pass it around, but none of them can read it. Better keep looking.

This was not entirely unexpected.

Now that they've seen it:

None of the monks here can make sense of the writing in your book.

I started off this quest with about 31400 AP. I could afford to look for a while. (Note: I would end up spending just about 4000 AP over the course of the quest. Not all of it was quest related, and I was not efficient, but it was 39 AP to get back to my Monastry after most of my kills.)

Here's a list of the Monast(a)ries I tried:

Finally...

An elderly monk steps forward. "I am Count Dante, master of Dimac, the world's deadliest 
martial art. I warn you that I am capable of instantly killing or mutilating any assailant, 
should I so wish. I am the author of the training manual you have there."

"OK, then, I would prefer that you not hurt me." (Looks around nervously.)

Count Dante is here. "Do you desire that your hands and feet were deadly weapons, and that 
you could kill, maim, disfigure, tear, rend, and cripple your foes with the mere pressure 
of a fingertip? I can teach you." [Learn (10 AP)]

"Yes please. Teach me, Count Dante!"

Monsters and Martial Arts

The wizened monk goes through some exercises with you for a while.
After a few attempts at the King Cobra Crouch, he shakes his head.
"First you must defeat a King Cobra in hand to hand combat. Then I can teach you more."

I hastened off to find a King Cobra. King Cobra bites can be pretty nasty. In hand to hand combat, this could turn into a problem. As a spell-casting martial artist, though, I have ways of mitigating such risks. "Mr. Snake, please pay no attention as I mumble to myself and make some strange hand motions for a bit..."

You attack the King Cobra.
You hurt your knuckles
You cause 40 points of damage, and receive 120 experience.
Your Bronze Scale Armour absorbs 1 damage.
The King Cobra causes 1 points of damage.
You are poisoned.

And so forth, until...

You attack the King Cobra.
You hurt your knuckles
You cause 9 points of damage, and receive 27 experience.
You slay the King Cobra.
You feel deadly.

I feel deadly, eh? It was time to go back and see if Master Dante could teach me more.

Count Dante is here. "Are you prepared to continue your tuition in the ancient 
and mysterious art of Dimac?" [Learn (10 AP)]

"Teach me, Master!"

The wizened monk goes through some exercises with you for a while.
After a few attempts at the Slow Worm Hold, he shakes his head.
"First you must defeat a Slow Worm in hand to hand combat. Then I can teach you more."

And so it went. Count Dante greeted me differently as I progressed through my training. After I had subdued my fifth monster (a Small Fire Dragon), he told me:

Count Dante is here. "Your progress is impressive, but you have much more to learn. 
Shall we continue?" [Learn (10 AP)]

After killing my sixteenth monster (the Toad), I was greeted with:

"You are an excellent student. You are well on the way to becoming a master. 
Are you ready to learn more?" [Learn (10 AP)]

After besting 26 monsters in hand to hand combat (the last was a Sister):

Count Dante is here. "Your skills are nearly complete. 
Care to finish your training?" [Learn (10 AP)]

Finally, after I had defeated 30 monsters as Dante had taught me, I returned to the Monastry and Dante greeted me with:

You spar against Dante. This time you match his blows with equal ferocity, until 
at last he halts and bows to you.
"Your training is complete. Truly you have mastered the art of the Poison Hand."
You gain a Poison Hand.

Count Dante bows to you as a fellow practitioner of Dimac.

The complete list of monsters and techniques Dante taught me, with commentary, follows.

Monstrous List

Here's the full list of monsters and techniques Master Dante taught me:

  • King Cobra Crouch
  • Slow Worm Hold
  • Gygax Punch -- !!!
  • Glow Worm Crouch
Happily, there's one on the floor right in front of me. I don't even have to move.
You slay the Glow Worm. 
You feel deadly.
No, I really don't.
  • Small Fire Dragon Stance
Isn't a Small Fire Dragon just a Big Glow Worm?
  • Esquilax Stance
  • Archmage Sertularian Hold (Mimic Hold)
Maybe I should have tried a smaller one first:
You are hot.
You attack the Archmage Sertularian.
You cause 200 points of damage, and receive 15000 experience.
Your Bronze Scale Armour absorbs 25 damage.
The Archmage Sertularian causes 50 points of damage.
Ow. And after I killed it, I didn't even feel deadly.
  • Loucee Nerve Pinch
  • Rock Troll Crouch
  • Chicken Punch
The wizened monk goes through some exercises with you for a while.
After a few attempts at the Chicken Punch, he shakes his head.
"First you must defeat a Chicken in hand to hand combat. Then I can teach you more."
I think my Sensei is losing it.
I figured, once I found a Chicken, I might as well get an Egg out of the deal:
You attack the Chicken.
You lose a Sheaf of Wheat.
The chicken eats the wheat.
The Chicken causes 1 points of damage.
I attacked the Chicken with my mighty Fists!
You attack the Chicken.
Buc-awwk?
You cause 1 points of damage, and receive 1 experience.
The Chicken causes 1 points of damage.
I gloriously slew the Chicken in hand to hand combat! (The songs will be many, and sung for generations.)
You attack the Chicken.
Cluck!
You cause 1 points of damage, and receive 1 experience.
You slay the Chicken.
You feel cowardly.
You gain an Egg.
You gain 10 Feathers.
Wait, what? I feel cowardly? Cowardly, as in, oh, I don't know... "Chicken"?
Apparently, feeding the Chicken a Sheaf of Wheat cancels the whole "hand to hand combat" thing.
Finally:
You slay the Chicken.
You feel deadly.
Deadly? A Chicken? Again, no, not so much.
  • perky n0rx Punch
"First you must defeat a perky n0rx in hand to hand combat. Then I can teach you more."
O-kay...... I mean, if you insist...
  • Badger Hold
  • R.O.U.S. Crouch
  • Llama Hold
  • Mud Man Crouch
  • Toad Hold
  • Ninja Crouch
Now this is more like it.
  • Lion Kick
  • Sparrow Crouch
I like it when Dante picks a monster that's right in front of me.
  • Earth Worm Stance
Two in a row where I don't have to move! I think Dante just wanted to clear out all the monsters around the Monastry.
  • Small Water Dragon Kick
  • Archmage Sertularian Jab (Large Mimic Jab)
I found a better strategy for Large Mimics: Cast Align All to Air (I'm Earth), cast Smite, then hit it once with Stone Fist. Of course I missed on the first attempt (and forcing Smite from a Spell Book is ... expensive), but the Large Mimic only nicked me for 8 damage.
  • Ghost Jab
  • Living Tar Punch
  • Mink Stance
  • Sister Stance
The wizened monk goes through some exercises with you for a while.
After a few attempts at the Sister Stance, he shakes his head.
"First you must defeat a Sister in hand to hand combat. Then I can teach you more."
I could see this one coming. Any of Dante's techniques with "Sister" in front of it was bound to be funny. "Sister Punch", "Sister Crouch"...
Anyway -- NOOGIE!!!
You attack the Sister.
You hurt your knuckles
You cause 8 points of damage, and receive 16 experience.
The Sister misses you.
Aww, she misses me! How sweet.
  • big n0rx Nerve Pinch
Sounds... painful.
  • Yeti Hold
  • Ice Dragon Stance
  • Roc Nerve Pinch
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